Monday, May 21, 2007

52+ fixes

Scipio Garling of the Absorbascon posted a list of 42 (then 43) items which need to be addressed by DC in order to completely fix the stupidities they've perpetrated over the years, not to mention conflicting origins, timeline errors, misinterpreted characters, bad writing, and awful storylines. You can find his list here.
He issued a challenge to his readers to come up with 10 (then 9) additional elements that require changing by the DC PTB's.
I've expanded the list to 58.

Here are my additions:
44. Get rid of Millennium.
45. Get rid of Zero Hour too.
46. Get rid of Argent's Teen Titans.
47. Get rid of saying that Mxyzptlk comes every 90 days. That's just stupid, and it continually throws the timeline into flux. Just let him come whenever he wants to.
48. Get rid of anything Bruce Jones has ever written. And don't let him write anything in the main DCU ever again.
49. Get rid of Superman Red/Blue and Electric Superman.

50. I like the portrayal of many of Batman's rogues gallery as individuals having a difficult time keeping their hands clean, as opposed to homicidal psychopaths. Keep Ivy (not to mention Woodrue) the champion of mother nature, no matter the costs. Keep Harley out on her own. Let the Penguin continue to operate his enterprises just the other side of shady. Let Two-Face be a district attorney who occasionally resorts to dirty tactics to get convictions. And please, please, please, let Riddler remain the celebrity detective he was born to be.

51. Evil Batgirl has got to go.
52. Likewise, Identity Crisis has got to go...while we're at it, how about forbidding Meltzer from writing anything for the DCU ever again?
53. Anything beyond the initial arc in Superman/Batman has got to go. [Edit: Oh, all right, you can keep Kara if you really want to.]
54. DC should get rid of Bart becoming the Flash. He's just not ready, and neither are we. Bart needs to be a kid. That's part of his charm.
55. The Steve Niles creeper needs immediate erasure.
56. Likewise the "New Skrull on the Block". J'onn is too rich a character to relegate to second rate stupid plots.

57. Speaking of J'onn, figure out his origin already, for God's sake! I'm going with Ostrander's. Make fire for J'onn sort of like yellow for Green Lanterns - dangerous, but only if he cannot overcome his fear of it.

58. And one more thing: undo War Games so that we can have Stephanie back. She was, like, my favorite Robin...ever!

Notes on Scipio's list and associated comments:
2. ...if Jason must be around. Otherwise, let him stay dead. Better yet, erase him altogether.
8. ...but Barbara should remain in a wheelchair, or at least a chair. She's indisposable as Oracle.
9. Emperor Joker did have its moments. It was a cute story.
39. Firestorm hasn't been as good since Dan Jolley left the new title.
43. Of course there's a Doctor Polaris, he's Grant Emerson's "uncle"!

Constantine and Swamp Thing aren't denizens of the DCU proper any more? What? Why? Does that mean that we've lost Constantine's relationship with Zatanna as well? Noooo!

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