Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Marvel Adventures: Hulk #1

Marvel Adventures: Hulk #1
This book isn't too bad, but if the changes to established canon are only going to be minor, then I really don't see its point. Marvel could save themselves a lot of money by making a reprint book of the earliest Hulk stories, not have to pay writers and artists, price it at $1 or $2, and still come out ahead, whilst simultaneously accomplishing their stated goal of introducing young readers to established Marvel properties such as the Hulk. Adventures Avengers is new and different. Hulk is just the same old thing. EH.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Wonder Woman #11

Wonder Woman #11
I can't wait for Gail Simone. I want her on this title NOW. Failing that, I'd like for anyone writing this title to actually make me care about it. Guess what? I don't care. That's why I hardly ever read it anymore. And obviously that's why the first arc of this book got cut short, Jodi Picoult's truncated run was s/addled with a crossover, and the whole title seems to have gone to hell. Unless that was the plan: make the new Flash and Wonder Woman series so awful that fans will be overjoyed when the numbering starts over again from where it left off. WhatEHver.

Ultimate Fantasic Four #44

Ultimate Fantasic Four #44
I'm not sure what to make of this issue. Since they already used Galactus, and made him into a swarm of some robots or some such nonsense, they had to find a master for Silver Surfer. So they came up with someone I've never heard of. Is it just me? Or is this some obscure villain from the archives? Regardless, this issue is too decompressed, because at this point the motivations should already have become clear. Or at least less dim. Regardless, this issue is competent, and therefore ranks at barely OKAY. I still think that the only completely worthwhile title in the Ultimate Universe is Spider-Man, and possibly X-Men as well. I'm very close to dropping this title. And I've been reading it since the beginning, too, so that really pisses me off.

Top Cow/Marvel: Unholy Union #1

Top Cow/Marvel: Unholy Union #1
Uh, yeah, after reading this book, I'm even less interested in any future crossovers, if that's possible. Are the Top Cow and Marvel universes completely intertwined now? It seems that every other month brings us another CRAPpy crossover book. Just like this one. Do yourself a favor and skip it. Really, it's so not worth paying for or hurting your brain over. It's utterly stupid and absolutely, completely AWFUL. It's hardly even a Marvel crossover if that makes any sense. The four featured Marvel characters aren't even true players in this book. They could be anyone. In truth, it's really nothing but a Darkness and New Witchblade teamup. I'm a sucker. I only read it because the Marvel name was attached, and then I actually expected it to be decent because it was written by Ron Marz. I should have known better. He writes a lot of crap too. Just look at Ion. Ugh.

Teen Titans #48 - #49

Teen Titans #48 - #49
EH. I really don't care for the Amazons Attack! storyline, and I believe that Hippolyta's return from her death during Our Worlds at War is ridiculous, so I really must admit to not giving a hoot for any book crossing over with this ludicrous crossover. Sure, as an event it's better than Countdown in execution, but in concept it's much worse. And it means that Adam Beechen is leaving this title before he really got a chance to do anything with it, which truly sucks. Oh well. Better luck next time.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight #5

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight #5
Pretty GOOD. I'm sad that Whedon will no longer be writing this series. BKV will probably be a good fit on it, so I'll continue to subscribe to it.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Superman #665

Superman #665
Once again! Busiek is the man! He knows how to write a comic that doesn't suck. And lest you be fooled by the promotional blurbs, or even the cover, this issue has nothing to do with Countdown. Not a single, solitary, blessed thing, NOTHING! In some ways, it's not as bad as Marvel's bannering every single issue of their comics that aren't World War Hulk tie-ins as Initiative crossovers, yet in some ways it's worse, because Marvel has a reputation for doing that kind of shit, whereas DC doesn't. Except when it comes to Countdown. The series is doing so poorly that apparently DC Editorial has decided to promote it like mad, including having more crossovers with it and labelling other unrelated issues as Countdown tie-ins. At least the writers haven't gone along with it yet. Busiek and Simone have remained at their usual high standards of quality with their books, as has Rogers on Blue Beetle. Even though these issues are bannered and touted as Countdown crossovers, you can skip that series entirely and still get a complete story from these professionals. And this story is a prime example. It's an EXCELLENT retelling of the "origin" of Jimmy Olsen, and actually explains in realistic terms exactly how he became Superman's "pal". Great stuff. I'd like to see Busiek on both Superman titles every month.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Sensational Spider-Man #39

Sensational Spider-Man #39
This Spidey series has never been quite able to do it for me, and here's another instance of the same old same old. Aguirre-Sacasa turns in another story that makes absolutely no difference, where nothing really happens, and that I really couldn't care less about. Enough with the metaphysical mumbo jumbo already! And if you're going to kill May, just do it already, but stop leaving us hanging for months and months on end. It's not right. You're screwing around here, waiting for something to actually happen, and while nothing does, you continue to steal our money every month by giving us multiple books with zero content. That's just wrong. In fact, it's plain insulting. It's ASS, is what it is.
Either kill May or don't, but stop giving us books with her in a coma, dangling the possibility of a recovery in front of us, and then jerking it away at the last minute. Have I conveyed to you how thoroughly pissed I am? Good, because I am.

Mighty Avengers #4

Mighty Avengers #4
That was pretty GOOD. Unfortunately, with World War Hulk happening right now and this book no longer managing to come out on a monthly schedule, the entire point of this story does seem rather moot. Obviously, Ultron didn't manage to destroy the world. Obviously, Tony Stark is still alive. The only item of consequence in this book would be the death of Lindy Reynolds, the Sentry's wife, and even that occurs off-panel. It will, if it's real, obviously have a tremendous impact on Robert's already tenuous grip on his sanity. However, we were never really made to care for her at all, so her death feels relatively empty.
I prefer to see Ares using guns as opposed to a sword. He is, after all, the god of war, and should thus be capable of utilizing all modern arms. A battle axe really just doesn't cut it anymore.

The thought balloons are often annoying in this issue. Originally, they were used to great effect, and sometimes still are. But for the most part, they just get in the way and force the reader to retract from the dialogue as it attempts to carry the narrative. Many of these asides could easily be spoken aloud in conversation. In fact, sometimes they even echo what the characters speak! It's a cute idea, but it needs to be reserved for when it can be used to the greatest effect. Like when network television shows contain the "S" word, it's sooooo rare that it actually lends tremendous weight to its utterance. But if the word were to be bandied about without reservation, it would lose all of its emotional value. That's the problem with these thought balloons. They can be overused so much that their inclusion ceases to mean anything. Therefore, a note to Brian Michael Bendis: please, restrain yourself.
Otherwise, this was a GOOD issue.

Iron Man #20

Iron Man #20
If all issues of this title are as good as this one, I just might have to seriously reevaluate my take on it. I haven't read this book since right after Ellis left. It sucked then, too, it's just that it never came out, so I was giving the full story a chance. Then Civil War happened. I've got to say, that didn't pique my interest in this series one bit. Reading about an awful fascist? I'll pass. But now? World War Hulk? I love the concept. I wasn't sure how it could be dragged through so many series, yet it almost seems like too few now, I mean, what about Fantastic Four and FF2? Sure, some writers have seriously dropped the ball on this, and by that I mean Ghost Rider and Heroes for Hire with their crappy, nearly unrelated tie-ins, and, of course, the X-Men mini. But there's no way that I could follow WWH and not read this title. And you know what? I'm glad that I did. Because it's VERY GOOD.

Incredible Hulk #108

Incredible Hulk #108
After the great stories of the past two issues, this one was somewhat of a letdown. The first act was spent rehashing the origins of Miek and Rick Jones, the second act involves a fight between Miek and another bug, and then the third act involves Miek and Rick resolving to be civil with each other in order to help the Hulk. That third act lasts all of two pages. What a ripoff. Seriously, that's what the entire issue should have involved - how Miek and Rick make their peace and help the Hulk. In other words: NOTHING HAPPENS IN THIS ISSUE! It's merely killing time between acts of World War Hulk and is merely idling. It sucks. Until this point, every issue had some forward momentum. And now, it all...grinds....to.....a......halt. Sorry, but I'm not letting this one go. I know that Pak can do better. Checking the recap page, four characters are featured: Hercules, Angel, Amadeus, and Namora. Yet, only Hercules has a speaking role. And that's merely a rehash of what he said last issue. The only other of these characters even featured up close is Amadeus. That's just dumb. Also, the art in this issue makes it extremely hard to comprehend exactly what is happening. Why does the ground suddenly explode beneath the Hulk? What the hell is going on in the fight between the two bugs? When did this book's art become incomprehensible? It's annoying. And it's AWFUL.

Black Panther #29

Black Panther #29
That's actually not bad. This title has taken a drastic turn for the better by making it, essentially, FF2, and while that nearly loses the engine of this series, it also gets us back to T'challa's original engine: one of the smartest men on the planet must work his way out of impossible situations. It just puts it in cosmic terms. I'm still not a huge fan of magical macguffins, but let me tell you - Marvel Zombies are fun! It's Slobbering Time! Heh. GOOD.

Amazing Spider-Man #542

Amazing Spider-Man #542
This is the first issue I've read completely since just before the horrible mess that was Civil War. It's OKAY. I have no idea why I read it. Kingpin seems to be horribly mischaracterized. Spider-Man is not the Spidey that we all know and love. I can see where this storyline is going, and let me tell you, I don't like it one bit. But for all that, this issue was at least competent. A by-the-numbers fight between Kingpin and Peter Parker where Peter delivers the beatdown to end all beatdowns, and tells Fisk most definitively that if Aunt May dies, so does he - simple as that. I still don't much care for this title. But I'll probably read the next issue.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Dark Xena #3

Dark Xena #3
OKAY. But not worth making a special trip back to the store to pick up if you haven't already. It's a Xena book. If you're a Xena fan, like I am, or was, you'll like it. Otherwise, just skip it. Buy a copy of the Spirit instead.

Gabrielle has been sent back in time to when Xena was evil due to having wished unspecifically from a Lovecraftian Elder God (I hate those guys) to have her alive again. Somehow she's been able to convince Joxer of what's happened, and is apparently able to get through to Xena somewhat in this issue. Plus, she dies her hair, and wears a totally smokin' hotttttt new outfit.

The story concludes in the next issue, and earlier books which occur following this story have Xena alive again (following her death in the final episode of the show), so she must come out of this with her memories intact and the timestream set straight. But come on, who really thought it could possibly turn out any differently???

The Spirit #8

The Spirit #8
Another VERY GOOD issue. If you're not reading this, you owe it to yourself to pick up at least one copy. Any copy. Just do it before it's cancelled. You'll thank me later. There's really not that much more to say about it. Excellent panel arrangement, great art, beautiful colors, memorable characters, snappy dialogue, and fantastic plot beats. Plus, the requisite joke at the end. I haven't read a bad issue yet. Cooke is firing on all cylinders.

Just pick it up, dammit!

Blogger troubles

Whenever I've got my router plugged in, Blogger moves so slowly that I'm unable to post. And then, when it's not plugged in, it moves at blinding speeds. What's up with that?
My wife was uploading photos and doing some work from home, so had I unplugged the router she'd have been pissed.
So that's why I'm just posting the reviews below now, as opposed to having done it last week.
Oh, well.
Of course, nobody probably noticed now, did they?





SILENCE








Oh, well.
Blogger can really suck sometimes.

Zero Killer #1

Zero Killer #1
Huh. I'm not quite sure what to make of this. True, it's not bad, but really, I don't see the point of setting it in a post apocalyptic present, especially if they're not going to do anything with the setup. This issue is merely a straight done-in-one tale set within a world only seen before in the Dark Horse FCBD flipbook, and it doesn't really even explain much about the world itself. Sure, they say what happened in text pieces, but the story itself could be set anywhere, anywhen. Like I said, it's not bad, I just don't see the point. Especially since this is a six issue miniseries, one would expect the concept to be run with a bit more. And the website with supposed intel on Zero Killer? It doesn't exist! How's that for a rip-off? EH.

World War Hulk: X-Men #2

World War Hulk: X-Men #2
Eminently pointless. No, wait, there is a point: let the Hulk beat down every single mutant from every single X-book, no matter how much he outclasses them. For no reason other than it's fun to do. But it's not fun for me, because I'm actually looking for a story. Silly me. CRAP.

Wolverine: Origins Annual #1

Wolverine: Origins Annual #1
Is it just me? Or does more happen in this single issue than has happened since the inception of this title? Hell, since the storyline's inception.
And since not much in the way of forward momentum actually occurs in this issue (what do you expect but a done-in-one for an annual?) it indicates JUST HOW BAD the ongoing title actually is.
This issue is a GOOD one, filling us in on a section of Wolvie's backstory instead of just assuming we already knew it. Of course, I don't know who Romulus is supposed to be, nor do I care. I don't know who Tai was, so I really don't care about his death. I don't even care about the larger story anymore. It's dumb. But I picked this book up expecting it to be a one-shot and wasn't disappointed.
Kaare Andrews' art inside is both hit and miss. Sometimes, I have no clue what he thinks he's drawing. Or what he's doing with Wolverine's hair. Oy. But in other places, the art is very good, especially the touch of graphically fraying the edges of the flashback pages to connote an ancient aspect to them. It shows a lot of care, and is worth noting.

I still hate this series and will not read another issue of it. This time, I really mean it!

Ultimate Spider-Man #111

Ultimate Spider-Man #111
Stuart Immonen takes over for Mark Bagley on half of this issue, and will fully supplant him in the next. I think he's a good choice, because, while it's important that artists have their own particular styles, one of the reasons that Ultimate Spider-Man has survived this long and succeeded as the flagship for the Ultimate line is largely due to the consistency of its art from month to month. With Bagley drawing this book for the past more than nine years, fans knew that they could come back and find the same beautiful artwork every month.
Bad art pisses me off. I dropped X-Men several months ago because reading it gave me a headache. I'm seriously considering dropping New X-Men. I haven't read the last several issues of Superman/Batman, though that's largely due to the fact that Verheiden fucking sucks. Then again, an artist can only interpret the story by way of the descriptions given him by the writer's script, so in some instances it's the writer who's to blame for the bad art. Carey's a great writer. That's why I blame Bachalo. I hated every issue of Ultimate X-Men that Bachalo drew. In fact, he's one of the reasons I stopped reading that title until recent issues. And I'm not the only one who made a similar decision. Marvel's sales on UXM must have dropped measurably after Bachalo took over for Kubert. So their not wanting to make a similar mistake with the departure of Bagley is a very smart decision.
From the few pages that were drawn by him in this issue, Immonen's style seems similar enough to Bagley's that readership on this title should remain strong. Plus, I know his work, and he's really good. Plus, he'll bring a number of loyal fans with him to this title. So it's a good move.
And Bendis turns in his "The Talk" issue. Not bad.
Overall, this issue was VERY GOOD. I'm looking forward to Immonen's first complete issue.

Thunderbolts: Desperate Measures

Thunderbolts: Desperate Measures
Explain to me what the point of this one-shot was? Explain to me why this wasn't merely an issue of the Thunderbolts' main title? How dumb. And what the hell? Osborn has a palm pilot device that cost 16 million dollars that lets him use satellites? That doesn't even make any sense! And if you overload Robbie with pain, then he'll send out a pulse that will incapacitate his foes? But what about Bullseye? Really stupid. This smells like ASS.

Justice League of America #11

Justice League of America #11
I'm torn. This issue is either really good or really bad. And I'm having a hard time figuring it out. From one angle, this story could possibly be a classic story of superheroes without any super powers. From another perspective, this story is soooooooooooooo decompressed it's stupid. There are so many internal inconsistencies, even when a lantern is hung upon them, that it just removes the reader from the story. For instance: Mari's powers can only be drawn from humans? Then how on Earth could she take Clark's powers? He's not human!
The art doesn't help this story either. It's too shaky.
Or maybe it does. Maybe the art contributes precisely to the feeling of claustrophobia that the writing's trying to evoke.
I can't rate this issue. It's either ASS or EXCELLENT. I don't know. I have no clue how to read it. Sorry.

After sleeping on it, I decided that I was being unfair to this issue, based on my bias of agreeing with the good folks at Comics Should Be Good that the last issue of this book was the WORST BOOK OF THE YEAR. You know what? This book, against all odds, is actually quite good. It's a story about a man who's put in superheroic situations alongside GODS, as if he had superpowers, and how he must cope when the fact that he has none comes front and center. And it's also the story of a woman who has lost her powers, a woman who was never alone due to her inherent connection with the animal kingdom and now finds herself utterly alone when that connection is stripped from her. And how she deals with it. And how they deal with each other. It's not a book about superheroics. It's just a story about two (relatively) normal people doing their best to be heroes. Doing their best to use their talents to make a difference in the world. It doesn't matter how they came to be in this predicament. It doesn't matter why. What matters is how they rise above their limitations and become the best that they can be, when the chips are down.
That said, this story is very well written. It accomplishes exactly what it should, and is, essentially, a done-in-one. And any flaws mentioned above are eminently excusable, due to the nature of the stress being put upon the protagonists. After considering this book more thoroughly, I fail to find any flaws with it, and must therefore give it a rating of EXCELLENT. You may disagree, but try to put aside any prejudices and appreciate this issue for what it is: a surprisingly EXCELLENT story.

Ghost Rider #13

Ghost Rider #13
Did Ghost Rider actually just bring a building down on Hulk by wrapping his chain around it? What the hell? He could have unleashed the full fury of the Spirit of Vengeance on Hulk and instead, what does he resort to? MASSIVE PROPERTY DAMAGE. Oh yeah, that's not going to ruin a few lives, naw.
And why the hell does his internal monologue sound like a newbie wuss? What's up with that?
And the art is seriously underwhelming, to say the least.
However...........
The end of this story provides exactly the right point. As the Ghost Rider persona takes over completely, he leaves town. Because the Hulk is not guilty. And the Ghost Rider's purpose is to avenge the innocent. Which Dr. Strange, Black Bolt, Reed Richards, and Tony Stark most certainly are not. They are guilty of the deaths of millions of people on Hulk's world.
That said, I'm mystified as to why GR leaves town instead of siding with Hulk. Since he's in the right in this instance, don't all the souls of those who perished on his planet require vengeance?
Thus, this issue rates merely OKAY. And that's probably being overly generous.

Action Comics #852

Action Comics #852
Is Kurt Busiek a great writer or what? An EXCELLENT issue that accomplishes in a few panels what it took three months to do to Jimmy Olsen in Countdown. And regardless of the four times in this issue that the editors pop up, reminding us to read Countdown, and telling us that it's absolutely necessary, I really think they're lying. I'm not going to bother reading Countdown to find out. I'll just come back to Action Comics in two weeks and see if I feel as if I'm missing anything. If so, I'll scan the back issues of Countdown. But I sure as hell am not going to buy that trash. What a waste of trees.

You know, if they got a writer who wasn't afraid to have some fun with the concept as opposed to angsting and killing, maiming and raping, and otherwise mistreating "Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen (volume 2)", I'd totally buy that book. Maybe Busiek wants to write it?

Monday, July 16, 2007

Y The Last Man #57

Y The Last Man #57
Apart from the gratuitous penis scene, (which shall not, under any circumstances, be reproduced here,) this book is really GOOD. Yorick and Beth get the reunion which we've been waiting on for the last five years, and we find out that Beth was going to dump him. Well, I certainly didn't see that coming, but then again, I'm slow when it comes to these things - just ask my wife. And so Yorick storms out, and Beth sits up waiting all night, and then, come morning, meets, of all people, HERO! And within seconds she meets Beth II and Yorick's daughter. And there we leave it. I can't really believe that there are only three issues left to this story. It seems like there's just so much more that could be told. Perhaps BKV will write a spinoff book? Regardless, I'm looking forward to the next three issues, even though that means it's all going to end.

Superman Confidential #5

Superman Confidential #5
Finally, we find out that it wasn't a piece of Kryptonite narrating the first four issues, it was a sentient being trapped inside the piece of Kryptonite. No, really. Yeah, it sounds stupid to me too. Tell me again why we couldn't have been informed of this four issues ago? For god's sake, we've been thinking we were being lectured by a fucking rock for the past four issues. A ROCK! This book is way too stupid to be allowed to continue. I'm not even fucking reading it any more. CRAP.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

X-Factor #21

X-Factor #21
Solidly GOOD. X-Factor gets back to being X-Factor, and doing what they do best. And Ric gets laid. Great dialogue, and excellent interactions. And it's only been two weeks since the last issue! I really wish this book were more pages, instead of having the LAME-O Beast story backup.

World War Hulk: Gamma Corps #1

World War Hulk: Gamma Corps #1
That's a really stupid idea for a comic book. Seriously, I didn't even understand it. Am I supposed to know who these people are? The only one I know is General Ross, but wasn't he dead? Or was that just a dream? This book is so poorly written that I could barely even understand it. Tell me again, HOW these people are going to make a difference? WHAT they're going to do? WHY I should care? AWFUL. Just AWFUL.

Ultimate X-Men #84

Ultimate X-Men #84
Quite GOOD. I like where Bishop is shown to have been taking this recruitment plot: the creation of the Ultimate Universe's New X-Men. Ultimate Stryfe seems odd in his first appearance. Although obviously not a Cable clone, he's a natural ideological leader, though a poor combat leader, as he flees whenever things get hinky. Also, I'm wondering why some of his recruits have joined him, since his speech seems to accentuate mutants' outward physical differences. If that were truly the case, then wouldn't he be better served by trying to take over the Morlocks and turn them into his own private army?

Tell me, is the chick in the purple outfit Psylocke? She's never mentioned by name, and her powers seem to be different, but the costume seems reminiscent, plus she's got purple hair and refers to having been previously in another body.
Here's a question: did she have these powers in her previous form? And if so, would that imply that her powers are spiritual as opposed to physical? What would that even mean in the scheme of things?

I actually like the new costumes a lot. I've never really been a fan of costumes, but these seem more like work clothes rather than anything garish or outlandish. Except for Storm who's dressed like a whore, and Bishop who's got belt pouches. And Pyro of course, but that's not really a new costume he's wearing.

But remind me when this Sentinel attack began? I feel as if I've missed an issue or two here.

Sub-Mariner #2

Sub-Mariner #2
Very cool cover, especially the title logo.
Wow! A spittle line! I haven't seen those since the 90s!

Well, this title still isn't much more than passably EH. The only reason to continue reading it is to find out whether Namor is truly dead or not. As to the how, I think it's quite obvious - Nitro did it. I really can't see how they're planning to drag this out to six issues. Perhaps three or four, but six? That's just too much.

Shadowpact #15

Shadowpact #15
But, but...I don't wanna die! I'm scared.
VERY GOOD. Especially for the fact that this book made me forget myself for a little while and actually fear for the safety of all those in Chicago.

Punisher War Journal #9

Punisher War Journal #9
Guess, what? This is the first issue of this title that I've read straight through since Frank donned his poor imitation of Cap's costume. Seriously - if you're going to go ahead and do something like that, then why don't you do it properly and wear the actual costume? Not some amalgamation.

Anyways, it turns out that I didn't actually need to read the last few issues, as everything I needed to know happens, or is explained, right here. Sure'n' that doesn't say good things for the last few issues. However, it allows this single issue to rate OKAY, so that's something.

Omega Flight #4

Omega Flight #4
What the? Why is Beta Ray Bill merely a guest star in what should rightfully be his book? And why is this entire book nothing more than one long fight scene? Sure, it may entertain the kiddies, but only if it's drawn properly, has good banter, and has good characterization, none of which this book has. The fight is so badly drawn and poorly exposited (expositioned?) that it's nearly incomprehensible. This is just stupid. AWFUL.

New Avengers #32

New Avengers #32
VERY GOOD. If ever there was a way out of the mess that Civil War put us into, this is it. Of course, Tony Skrull is a Stark. And the guy who drafted the registration law, and the president, and my boss, and my mother - well, okay, maybe not my mother, but my boss is definitely a Skrull. And President Bush is clearly a Skrull as well. I mean, really, nobody can be that stupid unless it's on purpose! I'm really looking forward to seeing what Bendis does with this idea.

Justice Society of America #7

Justice Society of America #7
Not bad. Though I still have a sour taste in my mouth from JLA#10, this book is actually quite readable. One queston though...does Steel look like that because he's naked? And why does he have a fin on his head? Oops, I guess that was two questions. Whatever.
But I love any scene with Starman in it, especially when said scene involves him eating sloppy joe, so OKAY.

JLA Classified #40

JLA Classified #40
Although I have been enjoying this storyline so far, it really needs to end already. This issue was either twice too long, or half as dense as it should have been. Or both. It really just seemed like filler. Perhaps I'd have enjoyed it more if the JLA's motivations weren't so impenetrable. EH.

Green Arrow: Year One #1

Green Arrow: Year One #1
OKAY. But, as I feared, this book is already altering Ollie's origin story, and is set to make his transformation into Green Arrow less of a personal spiritual journey, and more of a vengeance crusade - for someone doing something bad to him when he was breaking the law himself anyways. It's kind of lame, but I'll see where Jock and Diggle take it before passing judgement. All I know is, he'd better still use the elastic from his socks!

Exiles #96

Exiles #96
Well, it's the best issue that we've gotten since Claremont took over on this title. Unfortunately, that's not saying much. The pace in this issue drags sooooooooooo slowly that at the end of the story it feels like everything within could have been accomplished in, possibly, the space of 3-5 pages - total. And weird shit has never been the foray of this book, and Claremont really shouldn't start with that now. See, there's something that he's obviously not grasping here. When you've got a format that WORKS, as Exiles did for roughly 90 issues before he came aboard, you DON'T - ABSOLUTELY DON'T - go TWEAKING IT!! That's just stupid.
Plus, this issue contains some typically awfully hackneyed Claremont dialogue, which in many instances is quite painful to read.
All told however, this book does merit at least an EH.
As I've said, the only reason I continue to read this is for its inclusion of Spider-Man 2099. As long as he remains in the title, all my objections are merely academic. If and when he gets dropped though, you can bet that I'll be dropping this entire series as well, assuming that the writing remains at this atrociously pitifully low level.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Green Lantern #21

Green Lantern #21
That was really VERY GOOD. For the first time since either of these series began (Green Lantern Corps as well), I'm actually excited about the story possibilities. The Sinestro Corps was a stroke of genius. I'm surprised that nobody came up with the idea sooner. After all, every action has an equal and opposite reaction, just as every force in the universe, physical or metaphysical, has an opposite counterpart.
What I truly love about the Sinestro Corps is that Sinestro is not actually evil. What he's doing, he's doing to make the universe a better place. Some of the more powerful individuals he's absorbed into his Corps are evil, such as Superboy, Cyborg Superman, and the Anti-Monitor - although the case could be made for the Anti Monitor being the opposite force to the original Monitor, which would make him not evil, but rather a function of universal balance and harmony.
Parallax, on the other hand, seems to be evil as an entity. I think it's quite a statement towards the relative moral compasses of both Hal Jordan and Kyle Rayner that even when Hal was Parallax, he still did everything that he did to, in his mind, make the universe a better place. Whereas Kyle, who accepted the Green Lantern ring because he thought it'd be cool, has no deep seated sense of universal good. And therefore, the Parallax entity, which is one of the purest forms of evil in the universe - unless harnessed properly - has overwhelmed his personality to the point where he's really, really, EVIL! For once, I'm actually looking forward to the next chapter in Green Lantern Corps.

And also, Jack T. Chance!!!

Deadpool GLI Summer Fun Spectacular

Deadpool GLI Summer Fun Spectacular
EXCELLENT! Exactly what I'd expect from this book, and sometimes more. Why can't Marvel make this an ongoing humor title instead of relegating the GLA/X/C/D/I to these occasional one shots and rare crossover appearances? I'd totally buy that comic!
My favorite part of this book is when Big Bertha realizes that Deadpool likes her as a fatty, then angsts aloud as to why Wade can't recognize her for the beauty that she has inside her, whereupon Deadpool exclaims "you don't know how long I've waited for someone to say that" and takes off his mask to reveal his hideously scarred visage. Whereupon Bertha turns away and vomits. Question: if Bertha vomits like this will she revert to her Ashley persona?
I also loved the segments which poke fun at the bastardization of Speedball into the most egregious example of mischaracterization ever. Even when confronted with the complete illogic of his new path, he (the writers who created Penance and are writing him as such now) refuses to acknowledge that maybe, yeah, it doesn't make any sense after all!
I'd pay money to read this book monthly. Who's with me on that?

[Edit: Apparently not Paul O'Brien. He notes, correctly, that any scene with Deadpool in it tends to marginalize the comedic elements of the GLI. However, these scenes hardly comprise the bulk of the issue. Deadpool, for the most part, is merely used as a plot device, although cleverly so. As I mentioned above, one of these stories revolves around a date between him and Big Bertha. Although it certainly could have been played up more, the joke works even in its brevity. And a large portion of the issue doesn't have Deadpool in it at all! Squirrel Girl is much more the featured character in this book than Deadpool is, by any stretch, and any scene with her, even if not comedic, is pure gold. So I stand by my assessment. I'm not saying that Paul's wrong, he's just concentrating overly on certain elements of the issue while I am concentrating on others. Perhaps a fairer rating of the issue would be somewhere between our two ratings. But I'll leave that for someone else.]

Stephen Colbert's Tek Jansen #1

Stephen Colbert's Tek Jansen #1
I read this because I thought that it would be really funny. While it was slightly humorous, it was nowhere near as entertaining as I had expected. Scott Pilgrim is better. JLI was better. Blue Beetle and All-New Atom are both funnier than this CRAP. It's literally a short one line gag milked for 22 pages. What a waste of trees. Save the rainforest - don't buy the next issue.

Supergirl #19

Supergirl #19
This title has been soooooo unbelievably bad since Joe Kelley took over, so I'm very glad that he's leaving it. That said...

...nope, it's still bad. In fact, this book gets a well-deserved rating of ASS from me.

Seriously!

What the hell's up with that stupid headband that makes Kara look like she's wearing a dead animal on her head? And come on, folks! She's not really 16, she just looks like she is. In actuality, she's older than Superman! So what's with all of this "jailbait" business? And since when does United States law apply in such a fashion to aliens? Whose psychology and physiology is markedly different from that of humans? That's just stupid. And sure, this issue tries to hang a lantern on it, but it doesn't go far enough: what's with all the pseudo-metaphysical technobabble elitism? Just shut up and write dialogue that makes some fucking sense! Not just gobbledygook designed to fill space! This issue also tries to tie together every single storyline since the beginning of the series, which is problematic, because in real time, many of those stories occurred more than a year ago, and even if we did remember them, they were so bad that why would we actually care? Most of what I really remember from the Kandor storyline is Kara getting skeevy with someone who looked just like Clark. Yuck! And are people really stupid enough to think that they can punch Kara without hurting her?

Tony Bedard comes on next issue, thankfully. Unfortunately, next issue is an Amazons Attack crossover, a storyline so stupid in concept and execution that I can't believe that it's being written by Will Pfeifer. It seriously reads like a Dan Didiogasm. And then the following issue is a Countdown crossover which tries to sell the idea that Karate Kid would ever be a worthy opponent for Supergirl. Puhleeze! One punch and he's down! No question! He's got zero powers! Who's coming up with these stupid ideas? And I'm pretty much done with reading the stupidity that is Countdown. I really can't stand it. So, I probably won't read the next two issues. But at least the preview images of Renato Guedes' vision of Supergirl make her look like a real person!

I still can't believe that this tripe isn't yet on the chopping block, yet Manhunter was constantly being threatened with cancellation, as are Atom and Blue Beetle. What the hell is wrong with people that they'll be more consistent in buying crap than the good stuff?

You wanna know what absolutely pisses me off the MOST about this issue? Take a look at the solicitation:
"Superstar writer Joe Kelly concludes his SUPERGIRL run with a grueling fight between Supergirl and Superman! Is the only way to save the universe to kill the Man of Steel?"
Are they talking about the same issue here? Superman doesn't even appear in this issue until the last three pages, nor in costume until the final splash page, and they HUG on the penultimate page! WHAT THE FUCK? Even the title is captioned: "The Death of Superman Again!" What the hell?!? It has Kara straddling the "corpse" of Superman! Double what the hell?!?

ASS.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Thor #1

Thor #1
Not nearly as sacrilegious as I expected. I'm still not quite clear on the mystic explanation for the Gods and Asgard existing without the looming threat of Ragnarok, nor am I comfortable with the notion that Donald Blake has been waiting in limbo since Thor's original encounter with Beta Ray Bill, way back when, NOR can I completely buy that Thor got sent to limbo after the fall of the Gods, NOR can I truly believe that now that Odin's dead, some of the things he did have been nullified, but not others, but if I were to take these explanations at face value, without necessarily reading too much into them, then I'd say that this is a decently OKAY story.
And it's got beautiful art. Unfortunately, even the art isn't good enough to help me understand exactly WHO it is lifting Mjolnir is the desert, or WHEN this event occurs. But thankfully, the cover images have been retooled so that it no longer seems as if Thor is wearing fishnet stockings, so there's that.
At least it's not Clor.
Runaways #27
This issue is not as good as I would have expected, but it's certainly not bad. Last time, the Runaways got shunted back in time. This time, they discover they've been time displaced 100 years, and meet another gang of superhumans, or "sticks", one of whom is apparently the winged monstrosity from last time. Though the art doesn't quite make that clear. Also, there's a puzzling scene where Karolina fends off an attempted rape, upends a flower cart, and then inspects the roses fallen from it before inexplicably flying off to sit on a building and spy on the urchin who was apparently selling them. It's not bad art, it's Whedon's fault. It truly feels as if there's at least a page's worth of exposition missing from this issue, and being that there's no letters page, there's no excuse for that. Plus there's some sort of Punisher analogue around, but his presence remains entirely obscure. Perhaps it's supposed to be ominous, but with zero context to put it in, it's merely puzzling - and instantly forgettable. Good comics craft would dictate that this character be introduced in a later issue wherein his appearance will be somehow immediately relevant to the plot.
Still, Whedon keeps the pace moving, and we find out that there's a group of superhuman bad guys around in this era too, being led by the late lamented Gert's parents.
My major concern with this issue is the potential problems it creates with Marvel's historical continuity. I'm not so familiar with Marvel history, but I seem to recall the original Human Torch being the first superhuman in the Marvel universe. Or possibly Namor? The presence of other superhumans, several decades early, throws that long-held belief into question. Sure, 1907 seems like a long time ago, but it really isn't. We're getting dangerously close to messing with the fabric of time as far as the Marvel universe's history goes. Now, perhaps this is the intended effect, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.
Also, although I have read every issue of this book, it'd still be nice to be told who the characters are - at least by name - ONCE in the issue. But only four ever get named, most of them indirectly. And the dinosaur too, also indirectly. Their powers are also not clearly defined for new readers. Sure, I'm NOT a new reader, but since this book would like to pull in the kids, it'd be natural for nearly every issue to be a jumping-on point. Perhaps this is the odd issue out. Perhaps. I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt as far as that's concerned. But it's really not good form to issue a book as impenetrable to new readers as this one.
Barely OKAY.
Black Canary #1
Really, not that good. I was sincerely hoping for more. The scenes with Dinah interacting with Sin are competently executed, but I just can't bring myself to care much about the overall plot, probably because it involves characters that I am either unfamiliar with, or just don't care about much. I'm speaking, of course, of Dinah's ex-husband (what?) and Merlyn, respectively. Merlyn was a member of the league of Assassins? Huh. Whatever. Who cares? Also, though he claims to have come by most of the GA paraphernalia in his office "the hard way", what does that really mean? That he fought GA for a picture of him and Speedy? That he got beat up and Ollie left behind one of his action figures? Really? Sorry, that makes no sense!
Why is Dinah's motel room GREEN? And WHY is she staying in a MOTEL? She's been asked to wed one of the richest men in the DCU, and she's slumming it? WHY?
And is it just me, or does it seem at all strange to anyone that Dinah apparently uses her costume as jammies? It's actually quite disturbing. Dinah's getting ready for bed, Sin goes out to the ice machine, gets approached by a stranger, and Dinah shows up in full regalia to kick his ass. Isn't that odd? IS it just me? I suppose that fishnet stockings must be very comfortable to sleep in.
EH, whatever. Too bad this wasn't written by Gail Simone, it'd have been ten times better.

All-Star Superman #8

All-Star Superman #8
It may very well be heresy to admit this publicly, but I really didn't enjoy this issue as much as I have those previous. Completely disregarding the brain aches I got trying to translate Bizarro speech into normal English (although the Bizarro version of the Star-Spangled Banner was brilliant!), the story just didn't seem to be a complete idea in any sense, something which has long (can't believe I'm saying that!) been a hallmark of this series. I can't bring myself to care for this issue, and the truth is that all the information contained within could very well have been imparted in the space of two pages. Given the fact that this book never comes out, wasting an issue on this "filler" strikes me as more of a cheat than anything else. EH.

Action Comics #851

Action Comics #851
This book has, essentially, three acts. The first one deals with Superman's acclimation to his all too short stay in the Phantom Zone, which is difficult to make sense of, as the art is the sloppiest I've ever seen by a Kubert. The second involves a powerless Superman taking on Dev-Em with the assistance of Mon-El in a pocket of real-time space within the Phantom Zone. Don't try to make sense of the science here. In terms of continuity, or even common sense, you'll give yourself a headache.
Then, finally there's the third act, where Clark gets back to Earth, Zod appears to want to get it on with Lois, Chris takes his father on and is bound for the beating of all beatings, and Supes pleads with Luthor for his help in taking the rogue Kryptonians down. Lex has Metallo, Parasite, and Bizarro administer a humbling, but short, beating, and informs Superman that he'll be working with them to accomplish the aforementioned goal. And all this will be concluded in Action Annual #11. Wasn't it less than a year ago that Annual #10 came out? Whatever. The most I can muster for this story, especially after waiting through what seemed to be endless fill-in stories, is an EH, because, really, THAT'S IT!?!?

Sunday, July 01, 2007

She Hulk #19

She-Hulk #19
Stu Cicero! Trapped in a world he never made! What the hell does that mean - "never made" - anyways? WAUUGH! Heh.
Mallory Book proving that the leader is not responsible for his actions due to his Gamma transformation by using She-Hulk's lack of inhibitions in relation to Jennifer Walters, primarily sexually (she did NOT have sex with the Juggernaut!), is a stroke of genius. It's about time that this title got back to what really made it excel above and beyond all the other titles out there, the courtroom and lawyering dramas. It hasn't been the same since Eros worked his mojo on Jen.
Apparently the comic book guys in the reference room didn't read Peter David's recent run on the Incredible Hulk (I don't blame them), or they'd realize that the incidents they're referring to, that of the Leader transferring his mind to another body, then dying and having his brain stored in a jar, were merely a dream.
Anyways, I'm glad to see the book back with what made me love it in the first place. VERY GOOD.