Friday, August 17, 2007

Sub-Mariner #3

Sub-Mariner #3
There are only three reasons to be reading this series. 1) You are a fan of the Sub-Mariner. 2) You are genuinely interested in how the development from the beginning of issue #1 came to pass. 3) Because it's there. If #1, ignore this post. If #3, there's absolutely no excuse for you to still be reading this series. It's not good. And if you don't care about Namor or his fate, then there's no other reason to read this.
And if your reason is reason #2, then skip this issue, because the only thing that happens of any importance to the plot is that Charles Xavier helps Namor figure out where the rogue cell is.
Things that happen that don't matter? This book has loads of them. Let's start at the beginning, shall we?
Namor fights Logan for no reason whatsoever. Namor gets chewed out by Xavier for still having spies in the US, and then Xavier proceeds to cut off his nose to spite his face. That is to say, he refuses any further help to Namor, rather than helping him find and punish those rogue Atlanteans who are carrying out terrorist attacks on the US. I know that Chuck is egotistical, but this is ridiculous! Then Namor trashes a Sentinel unit and advises them to return to the original, cheaper model. Then the terrorists do, uh, something (?) in Seattle. What? Got no clue. (Apparently they're dumping garbage. Yeah! Scaaaary terrorists! Whoooooo. They're going to destroy our nation by littering it to death! Hahahaha!) Then the rogue faction in Atlantis plots a coup. Then Namor is attacked by Venom II who rips his stupid little wings off.
But all that stuff is inconsequential to the plot! If Xavier won't help Namor, then there's no reason to even show him there!
Yay. Namor fights Logan and a Sentinel. Big freaking deal.
Two pages of impenetrable events regarding the terrorists doing something in Seattle. One page of the separatists plotting their coup. Then an incomplete fight with Venom.
This book could be used as a classroom example of how not to write a superhero comic. Because nothing happens! Sure, I understand this issue's place in the scope of the greater miniseries, but if Cherniss had nothing to say here, then he certainly had no business making this series a six parter instead of five.
And it's still bannered with The Initiative! Why? Is it an ad? Or does Marvel editorial really view this issue as a crossover? Really? Why, because it has Tony Stark on hand? Ridiculous.
So skip this issue. If you need to find out how Atlantis got destroyed, just buy the next book or the one after that. This CRAP can be skipped.

No comments: