Astonishing X-Men

Astonishing X-Men
Well, apparently, #20 has been rescheduled to be released on February 7th, so I guess we're back to it being bimonthly. I hope Whedon can get the story finished so that we won't lose track of the tale between issues, but one never knows these days.

Supergirl #13

Supergirl #13
Just in case you were wondering, this is not a continuation from last issue. Last issue was actually good. This is a continuation from issue #11. That issue was CRAP too. There are so very many gaffes in this issue, it's truly shocking. But I'll just name two.
1) Wonder Girl's lasso does not have truth power - it has lightning/electricity power granted her by Ares.
2) I just reread issue #11 and saw nothing therein to indicate that Grace had broken her arm. Especially not to the extent that not only does she need a cast, but she needs a huge honking piece of machinery to immobilize it!
3) I know, but seriously, I couldn't ignore this one: Grace is pissed off at Supergirl because she refused to kill! What???
CRAP CRAP CRAPPITY CRAP CRAP CRAP.

Deadman #5

Deadman #5
This is truly the epitome of CRAP. At least Bruce Jones bases this issue entirely in one dimension, whatever the hell that means. But what in the world does "remote viewing" have to do with anything? And does BJ even know what the phrase means? Because there certainly haven't been any obvious examples of it in the series so far. This book couldn't be any more unclear, and I've got a very strong feeling that even the artist hasn't got a clue what's going on. Because sometimes panels that come in sequence don't seem to be immediately sequential. What's that all about? This title is AWFUL, and I'm officially stopping reading it. In fact, unless I hear great things about it, I'm never going to read another Bruce Jones comic ever again.

The Immortal Iron Fist #2

The Immortal Iron Fist #2
Brubaker's obviously got some big plans for expanding Iron Fist's mythology. In this issue he introduces the concept that only one individual can use the Iron Fist technique at any given time. When Danny's father uses it, Danny experiences intense pain in his hand.
Brubaker also gives us a nice cameo by the Night Nurse (who comes out against Registration), and a nice guest appearance by Luke Cage, who hasn't really hung out with Danny much lately, what with all the New Avengers crap, and it's nice to see two best friends reconnect. GOOD.

Quote of the Week #8

Quote of the Week #8
This week's comes from Astonishing X-Men #19. In typical Whedon fashion, it requires a bit of a setup, so I'm going to reproduce the entire page here for your benefit.

Astonishing X-Men #19

Astonishing X-Men #19
Joss puts us back on track here. Doesn't it seem like everyone is doing outer space stories nowadays? Anyways, it's has become clear why Astonishing was bimonthly for so long: Whedon was trying to get enough completed issues in the pipeline, so that when the action ramped up we wouldn't be waiting two months between issues and lose track of the story. And the story here seems to be a very good one. I'm still not clear on Danger's role in all of this, but it's clear that Whedon had a plan in mind for Ord from the moment he first introduced him. And finally, the dialogue in this issue is what I expect from Whedon - something that he hasn't really delivered on in the last few issues. In fact, if you'll check out the post above, I'm awarding him with this week's Quote of the Week! A VERY GOOD issue. The last couple of pages are classic Whedon.

Wolverine: Origins #9

Wolverine: Origins #9
Finally, Way gives us a good issue. And it's very, VERY GOOD. This issue deals mostly with Wolverine's early history with the Black Widow. Where and how they met, and how their relationship developed to the point of quasi-family. That's what this series should be about. Wolverine's history! I hate issues where we might get maybe four pages of flashbacks with no continuity reference. Here is what we've been waiting for. And Dillon's Widow is excellent. If Way can make every issue just like this one, then I will definitely look forward to this title on a monthly basis.

Catwoman #62

Catwoman #62
This issue finally puts to rest all the controversy surrounding the OYL break. Did Selina kill Black Mask? Yes. Was it justified? Absolutely. Who is the father? Sam. Oh, and by the way, he died taking out Black Mask's #1 man. Did Slam know? Yes. How? Come on, he's a detective, for christ's sake. He's the original reason Detective Comics was named "Detective Comics"! Did Holly know? No. Did anyone else? Nobody living. How did the connection happen? Answered. Finally, now that we're done with Film Freak, (aka Grant Morrison) we can finally get back to Will P. telling GOOD emotional stories.

Y The Last Man #51

Y The Last Man #51
"What the hell? Jesus christ!" That was my exact reaction to reading the last page of this book. I wanted to use some other choice words, but my wife is in the next room. Needless to say, I am NOT going to spoil this one for you. Another VERY GOOD issue, with lots of exposition from the Manns, wherein another possible cause for the eradication of males is revealed, and a fight between Toyota and 355. If you don't read this monthly, you should at least be reading it in the trades, (as I was, until it got to be too long since my last fix and I just read all the most recent issues).

Ms. Marvel #10

Ms. Marvel #10
EH. Carol Danvers from our reality fights Carol Danvers from another reality. Woo hoo. We've seen this so many many times over the years it's gotten tired. Oh, and Adrian Watts gets letters published in three different books in the same week. (The others are She Hulk #14 and FNSM#15.) WTG Adrian!

Teen Titans #42

Teen Titans #42
The origin story for Kid Devil. Johns kind of works him in to the original stories on the sidelines. Like, he joined up with Young Justice, but they disbanded a few weeks later. Whatever. It's sort of contrived. Still, it's one of the better Neron stories I've ever read - which of course, isn't saying much. Still, it's OKAY. Time to move on, though.

New Avengers #26

New Avengers #26
Well, we all knew it was coming, right? Only a matter of time. It was only a question of how they did it - or undid it as the case may be. But here you have it, fanboys and girls, your good old friend Clint is back! And while we're at it, let's bring the Scarlet Witch back as well. And heck, even Agatha Harkness for good measure - why not?
Too cynical? Sorry.
At least amidst all the justified griping about Millar and Straczynski raping the Marvel Universe, this little nugget of information caught me unawares. Sure, the next issue caption, front cover, and first page gave away most of the secret, but not all of it. So kudos to those in the know for keeping it under wraps as long as they did.
And since we all knew they were going to do this eventually, it might as well be done well, no? And to make it work properly, Bendis jettisons the entire cast of this book, and replaces them all with Doctor Strange. Well characterized too. Not only that, but he gets all Daredevil on us, and brings Alex Maleev back to work with him. I missed his work.
So, cynicism aside, this is a VERY GOOD story. Sure, it adds another few entries to the wikipedia article on comic book death, but at least it does it well. Perhaps even better than Joss Whedon did with Colossus. I look forward to the next issue of this title once again - for the first time in several months.

Thunderbolts #109

Thunderbolts #109
And while we're on the subject of titles I don't read, here's another one! I'm upset that I never read this title before (except for the odd crossover issues - which really weren't very good). Now I've got 100+ issues to make up. I should've known, seeing as how I usually enjoy Fabian Nicieza's writing. So, again, I read this issue by itself - without having read anything before it, and, while it's not nearly as good as Busiek's Aquaman, it's OKAY. Even though I know nearly nothing about any of the cast members. And that should just show how good the writing actually is - to be able to take obscure characters, and craft a story with them...my only complaint is that there's too little background given on any of the characters, even on the recap page. But that's my fault, for not having given this series a shot earlier. Now that Nicieza's leaving, and Warren Ellis is coming on, I suppose it's time to start reading this title. I really like Ellis' other work, like Fell, Nextwave, etc., so I'll probably like his stint on Thunderbolts as well.
Now to get Nicieza back together with Busiek...

Aquaman - Sword of Atlantis #46

Aquaman - Sword of Atlantis #46
Well, if you were wondering why I've never reviewed an issue of this title post OYL, there's a very good reason...I haven't read any. Not that I don't want to, mind you, it's just that I'm trying to catch up with the series first. Right now I'm at the beginning of Pfifer's run. But just for kicks, I opened this issue up, just to see what it was like - and I couldn't put it down. It's not that anything much happens in it, it's just that the writing is just flat out excellent. Which makes for a VERY GOOD story. Even when said story isn't intended to be a standalone issue, it works well as such. That's good writing. I am now looking forward to getting to these OYL issues so very much more.

Fallen Angel #11

Fallen Angel #11
Damn, that's it? And who knows when the next issue will be out! This one was dated November 2006...does that mean that it's one month late, or three months late? I have no way of knowing. Suffice it to say, it's late. Now, I tend to give Ryall a bit of slack when it comes to his books, because god knows he's got a lot on his plate, and deservedly so. So I'll late the lateness slide. But come on, if a book is going to be released this infrequently, at least give it a few additional pages.
Anyways, we have here an auspiciously GOOD start to what seems to be another good story from Peter David. I really do like his books. He is such a consistently good writer, that even his crap smells like roses, compared to most other writers at least.
However, the title of this arc is "The Long, Slow Seduction of Jude", so I really hope that the title isn't implying a six or twelve issue story, because if so, who knows how long it'll take to finish?

52 #32

52 #32
An OKAY issue. Not up to the standards I expect, yet compared to most issues of this title, OKAY is saying a lot.
I found it odd for most of this issue that the Perfect Accomplished Physician, who's obviously in tight with the Tibetans, should work for the Chinese. It's not so much explained as such, rather the dialogue alludes to him having made some sort of compromise regarding his ideals, for the sake of the greater good. But a little more exposition would have been nice - blame Morrison for its lack.
Also, I found it interesting that the PAP did not view Ralph's presence in Nanda Parbat as a violation of the superhuman whatever treaty, as the GL's presence in Russia were several months ago. Perhaps this comes to show us that although the PAP works for the Chinese, he still views Tibet as a separate entity, regardless of the politics of the region.

And on page 19, it says "Hey a Neal Adams Effect", in reference to Neal Adams "Hey a Jim Steranko Effect" from Strange Adventures #216. Thanks to Douglas Wolk for the reference.

Welcome to Tranquility #1

Welcome to Tranquility #1
I'm a fan of Gail Simone. How could I not be? She started out as a blogger! Competent posting requires a deft touch with dialogue and vocabulary, and, at least here, Gail shows that she's definitely got it. I already read Birds of Prey excitedly every month, and I can assure you all that I will definitely be adding Welcome to Tranquility to my pull list.
Think Top 10, but without the grit. That's this most EXCELLENT book. I look forward to it next month, as Gail is known, for, among other things, always getting her books out on time. Let's hope that tradition continues with this cute little title.

Robin #157

Robin #157
Wherein Robin rescues Teekl from a tree, takes him home, tries to find his home, and protects him from a giant Chimera type beast known (according to the next issue box) as the Judgement Beast. Oh, and Klarion turns up on the last page, which is really the point of this posting.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't Robin and Klarion met before? Specifically when Klarion turned the Justice Leaguers into kids, and Young Justice into adults? I was willing to overlook the fact that Morrison's Klarion story was basically an origin story, as none of the Seven Soldiers books seemed to really make any definitive chronological references. But this? This is ridiculous. Is Beechen just not aware that Klarion had a history before Seven Soldiers? Or does he just not care?
Klarion aside, this issue was OKAY. Robin has to deal with not telling his tutor that he was okay following the "kidnapping", and has to deal with Teekl as well. Mostly, he has to deal with Teekl - who actually seems to take a liking to him. I'll read the next issue to find out how the story develops.

Blade #3

Blade #3
I haven't really been enjoying this series much, mostly because it seems very poorly thought out. This issue is no exception. In this issue, Guggenheim presents us with some very intriguing questions (and their respective answers), questions that we may have never thought to ask, but intriguing nonetheless. Unfortunately, so much time is wasted "obsessing the details", that Marc forgets to concentrate on the largest detail of all - giving us a proper story.
It's interesting to learn how Blade supports himself. However, if said support comes from what would otherwise be referred to as burglary, wouldn't he have the sense to cover his tracks? Wear gloves, or some such detail? Not much obsession to detail there, eh, Marc?
Likewise, it's interesting to note that many of the vampires that Blade dispatches have actual identities, and are missed (though by whom, I couldn't say), when they're dusted. So, again, wouldn't it just be prudent to wear gloves?!!! And perhaps to check for the presence of witnesses first?
Still, this could have been an okay story, if the ending hadn't been such a cop out. I realize that it can't extend longer than 22 pages, primarily since Guggenheim seems to be focused on keeping each issue independent of those previous. Still, this independance, while commendable, should not have to come at the expense of what might otherwise have been a good story.
Still, I enjoyed it somewhat, which rescues this issue from the domain of CRAP, but only barely, so I would have to rate it at sub-EH.

Outsiders #43

Outsiders #43
So everything the Outsiders did since the beginning of the series was planned by Dr. Sivana? If you say so, Mr. Winick. Nearly four years of this series, which at times has been good, yet at other times, very, very bad, and this is all we get? Sivana monologues to the Outsiders, then cures them, so Katana unleashes Sabbac from her sword to destroy his plans, and all Sivana can say is that he's "proud of them"? Really? That's it? That is so unbelievably ASS. Sorry, there's just no way around it: ASS, ASS, ASS, ASS, ASS.
Remember James Robinson's Starman? How at the end, it was obvious that the entire series sixty plus issues and several crossovers had been scripted from day one towards a single goal? How on rereading it, everything made sense? And it was sastisfying! Well, sorry, but going back to the beginning of this series, I really, really, don't see that Winick planned for this...or at least he definitely didn't have the decency to drop us the occasional hint. And if we couldn't figure it out, and now he tries to say, "ha, I fooled you all!", well, then his sentiment is truly a hollow one, isn't it. Had we been given the clues and still not tumbled to his plan that would have been another matter entirely. But as it is, ASS. Not to mention that the timeline for all of this is off: since Villains United happened following Countdown (or so we've been led to believe), how is it possible that Sivana had joined the society before this series even started? It truly seems like an afterthought on Winick's part. God, why do I keep torturing myself by reading this, even when it sucks?

Spider-Man: Reign #1

Spider-Man: Reign #1
Um...so, haven't I read this before? It's almost exactly like Frank Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns", except with Spider-Man. Even the internal monologue sounds like Frank Miller. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you, DKR was some of the most excellent writing ever to appear in comic book format. And Peter Parker does seem to be in his eighties here. It's just, well, it seems like a rerun...watched many years later - when you remember the basic plot, but the details have since slipped your mind. That's exactly how this seems.
Not to be picky, but I haven't seen anywhere - except in the pages of Transmetropolitan - where an elected official has the right to postpone elections specifically because "he's working on something". Not in this country, at least - in some African and Middle Eastern regimes, it happens all the time. So, um, yeah.
Also, since it's obvious that Peter is the main character here, why try to hide that fact from us? Why doesn't his spider-sense go off when he's in danger? And seriously, how crappy a florist must he be to get the order wrong when his job depends on it? And is Mary Jane alive? Or is she preserved there like Norman Bates' mother?
I was going to say this is OKAY, but it just keeps getting worse on further reflection. I'm still somewhat intrigued, so I guess I'll at least read the next issue, but this one gets an EH.

Quote of the Week #7

Quote of the Week #7
As I've neglected to update this site regularly in the past few months, this feature has fallen by the wayside. Either that, or nothing really stood out. Well, this week, we've got two standouts! The first comes from Supergirl #12:

Sure, it's a bit out of context, but it's still funny.

Next we have Dwayne McDuffie's dialogue from Beyond! #6, which, so far, has proven to be the most welcome surprise of the week. But in this case, there's just too much good stuff to go posting all of it. Buy it, read it, enjoy it.

The Irredeemable Ant-Man #3

The Irredeemable Ant-Man #3
Say what you will, I really like this series. The "protagonist" is just such...an...@$$HOLE! It's kind of refreshing. This book makes no pretentions whatsoever. It announces on the cover that he's the "world's most UNLIKABLE super hero", and he certainly is...
In this issue, Eric mooches off his dead best friend's parents for all he can, tries to come on to the girlfriend of his dead best friend, tries to have sex with said girlfriend on her dead lover's fresh grave (then wonders why he couldn't score), tries to have sex with a girl he just met, invades the apartment of this girl he just met, sits on top of the shower to watch her naked...he's such a little creep! Oh, and while using this stolen suit he punches through an artery in some guy's neck...and only cares that he got drenched in blood.
So he did possibly save Nick Fury's life...if in fact it was actually Nick Fury, and not an LMD. Was it Nick Fury? Or was it an LMD?
Still, what a little creep. That should be the title of the letter column..."little creep"...or something like that. Ugh.
Yet I like it. Why? Probably because of Hester and Parks. Without them, it'd be just another title. A good title, but I probably wouldn't have really taken notice the way I have. They make it something special.
They should experiment with changing the cover's tagline every issue, much like Eclipso once did.
VERY GOOD. I hope this lasts.

Beyond! #1-#6

Beyond! #1-#6
Wow, that was actually VERY GOOD. I really didn't expect that at all. Since Secret Wars I was too complex for me in all of its ramifications (I was a little kid at the time), and Secret Wars II: Beyonder the disco god was crap, I really had very low expectations for this. But, wow. I read it all in one shot, starting last night, and have got to tell you, it's a great story, very well done. Featuring a similar concept to Secret Wars I - supertypes get kidnapped from Earth, transported to Battleworld, forced to fight each other in order to return home - yet at the same time completely unique. I'm not going to spoil it by, well, spoiling it. Suffice it to say, leave questions as to the exact point in continuity or the exact universe in which this might have occurred aside, and just enjoy it for what it is: Good Solid Storytelling.

Guy Gardner: Collateral Damage #1

Guy Gardner: Collateral Damage #1
Well, this one's all over the map. About par for the course considering Chaykin's recent work. Sentences leave off or continue from nowhere, the narrative seems to have very little logical flow, Chaykin's art is Liefeld-like sketchy, and all characters motivations are very obscure.
However, for all its flaws, I enjoyed this, for a few very simple reasons:
1) Warrior's
2) Guy Gardner being Guy Gardner
3) G'NORT!!!
Although G'nort is written much more competently than Giffen ever portrayed him elsewhere, it actually works, because in the opening pages of the book we are "treated" to scenes of his entire planet being slaughtered in the crossfire of the ever continuing Rann-Thanagar war. Gratuitous as it may be, such things will serve to make one grow up really fast. And G'nort has grown a pair as well...just take a look at the way he talks to Guy.
Guy Gardner is a womanizing, Guardian-hating boor, but his heart is always in the right place, and his skills as a Warrior are unparalleled.
And I always love the occasional scene set in his restaurant...but it seems to have gotten a major facelift since last we saw it.
So, I've got to say, I did like this, sloppy art and storytelling aside. In fact, Chaykin's sloppy line work actually contributes a great deal towards selling the new and improved G'nort. So I'll rate this a low GOOD.

Supergirl #12

Supergirl #12
Wow, completely not what I would expect from this book at all, although with new names Palmiotti and Gray on the cover, I'm not surprised. What does surprise me is Amanda Conner's pencils actually toning down the cheesecake level...in fact, there's even a scene where she pokes fun at her own renderings of Power Girl! This issue was a standalone issue, and it made sense. That has been so rare throughout this series - things making sense. It's like, maybe I'm dense or something, but I never realized that this "Boomer" she was living with was actually Captain Boomerang's son...I thought she was doing him or something, or that perhaps this was a new character along the lines of the last Supergirl's Buzz. Now it finally makes sense. The art is even nicer, in a cartoony way. VERY GOOD. I'd love to see more issues like this one, and if I do, then I will definitely resume reading this series.

Gren Lantern #14, #15

Green Lantern #14, #15
Well, as good as last issue was, and it was VERY GOOD, this one is bad - so bad it's AWFUL. How does that happen? Last issue we finally got the exposition we needed to explain what happened to Hal during the lost year, because God knows we weren't going to get it anywhere else, and it was actually a pretty good story. Stupid, sure, but very good nonetheless.
Now this issue, on the other hand, is just one huge extended fight scene between Hal and the apprently brainwashed Global Guardians. And there's something unrelated going on with Hank Henshaw's skull. And something happening on Qward too - which seems to be aimed at inducting Abin Sur's son into the newly formed "Sinestro Corps", somewhat of a hackneyed concept, but if done well, one that I could certainly get behind. However, the other upcoming plot development alluded to in this issue is just retarded. Turning Cowgirl into the New Star Sapphire? That's got to be the stupidest plot development since making Hal crazy in the space of three issues. Please, I hope that's not going to stick. For once, it'd be nice for Hal to have some sort of normal home life. What is it with DC's fascination with messing with the private lives of their Green Lanterns? It seems like every one of Earth's Green Lanterns has suffered horribly in their personal lives, from the original to Kyle. At least this issue came out one month following the previous one, but note that it still has a cover date of 2006. That's just stupid. It's as if, by dating late titles by the month in which they were supposed to be released, the comic companies can retroactively change recent history and claim that they were released on time! Whatever, I'm just about done with this series.

Narcissism alert

If you haven't noticed yet, I track visitors to this blog. Most hits here are people who arrived by mistake, but I've noticed some web addresses that keep popping up again and again. I'd like to know that (if) I'm actually making a difference out there, so if you are a frequent visitor, drop me a line and tell me.
Obviously, blogging is a highly narcissistic pursuit, however altruistic one's motives may be. That said, it encourages me to write more often when people let me know how I'm doing.
So let me know!

Batman/The Spirit #1

Batman/The Spirit #1
Can Darwyn Cooke ever do any bad work? I swear, everything of his I've ever read has been EXCELLENT. And this is no exception. Being too young, or mainstream, to have had much experience with The Spirit, I can't say how accurately he fills out Will Eisner's shoes. However, having read many golden and silver age Batman tales, I can say with certainty that Cooke captures the Spirit of those golden (and silver) comics perfectly. Likewise Jeph Loeb, who, more recent misfires aside, has always done a superb job at telling tales set in the past. This book is truly a treat, and serves as a fitting entree into Cooke's upcoming Spirit monthly. Like I said, this is EXCELLENT, and I've truly gotten to the point where I'd expect no less.

Ultimate Power #2

Ultimate Power #2
After the first issue, which basically had nothing to do, whatsoever, with the Supreme Power universe, until the very last page, I can't stress enough how unimpressed I was. And then there's this issue. Oh boy, I didn't think that I could be let down any further. I was completely wrong. This issue is nothing more than one giant fight scene, featuring the Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, The X-Men, and The Ultimates - basically, everybody in the Ultimate universe who has a regular series - fighting the Supreme Power heroes. Until the goddamn last page. Again! Nothing f'ing happens in this issue, until the last page! Who writes this CRAP? Okay, so just like everything else in the Ultimate universe, it's written by Bendis...but seriously? A chimp could do better.

The Immortal Iron Fist #1

The Immortal Iron Fist #1
For the first 16 pages, this book was a lot of fun. Well written, intriguing concept, competent execution...and then it took a turn towards WTF-land. This series gets back to the long forgotten concept of Danny Rand being just the latest in a series of mystical warriors gifted with the Iron Fist, which herein is portrayed more as a mystical ability than as a martial arts technique which anyone could learn - as Bendis hinted at during his run on Daredevil. That's not a problem for me. What is a problem, however, is the conflicting origin stories told herein by Brubaker...one which has Danny's father dying, and one which has him disappearing...within the pages of the selfsame book. To me, that's just sloppy, but perhaps he's going somewhere with this. I'll have to keep reading the series to find out, I guess. It would be interesting to me to find out exactly where this falls in the DaredevilFist chronology.
A very solidly GOOD first issue.
(Is it just me, or is Danny's Iron Fist costume really gay?)

Daredevil #91

Daredevil #91
Happy Turkey Day.
Well, after the extreme confusion of the last two issues, we're finally back on track, and even though nothing is revealed (to us at least) in the issue, everything previous is clarified. I was really let down by the last couple of issues, here I was expecting great things, and then, nothing. Seriously, if I wanted to have no clue what was going on, I'd read Deadman (which, by the way, is utter CRAP).
So now that we know what's going on, Lily was hired to wear a pheromone perfume and confuse Daredevil. How they figured out Karen Page's scent is unknowable, but at least Daredevil is wise to them now, and his internal monologue tells us that he's wise to it. So he lets a mock kidnapping and attempted murder scene play itself out, obviously a trap, while he waits to make his move.
When he does, he dispatches Tombstone.
And then, things get weird. Matador apparently has been ordered to kill Lily, though he agonizes over attempting to do so, claiming that he loves her, but it's probably just the pheromones. So Matt puts him out of his misery. He then gets Lily's part of the story from her...the honest truth, apparently, though as he says earlier in the issue, she's such a good actor, how would he know?
That's it. Not much happens, but at least we understand what does happen. VERY GOOD.

Civil War

As we saw in White Tiger #1, DaredevilFist uses a voice box. Why none of the other costumes even question it, when it was a big deal to White Tiger? Just another example of a CRAP story by a CRAP writer, which is why lately I've become so much more Johnny DC. When Marvel has this godawful series crossing over into so many unrelated books, it does nothing but weaken the entire Marvel line. I won't even touch this series - it's like poison - and the closest I'll get to it is the NON-JMS Iron Spider books, and Wolverine. I haven't even READ any of the other books with CW bottoms, and I really don't plan on it - except for Cable/Deadpool...eventually. What a mess.

Smallville 6x07 "Rage"

Smallville 6x07 "Rage"
I love the Green Arrow outfit, especially since they decided to go with a hood. I like the trick arrows, like the taser crossbow bolt. There are a lot of good ideas here. Unfortunately, there's one really bad idea as well. Since Oliver Queen is one of the richest men in Metropolis, if not the world, rich enough to finance pharmaceutical experiments, why couldn't he invest in some light Kevlar for his costume? That would save him a ton of pain and grief, be much safer, and would really negate this entire episode's point. It's not as if he's going to be doing any acrobatics - he's just running around and shooting people. One of the newer Kevlar blends, such as they've been using in the armed forces, would not weigh a strong guy like him down very much.
There's a lot of other things to like about this episode. The whole "Ollie's on drugs" subplot is definitely meant to evoke memories of Roy Harper being addicted to smack. There's a cute line towards the end of the episode where Ollie tells Clark "I'm not even in your league," to which Clark replies "just because you're not indestructible doesn't mean you can't be a hero". Kind of like the "Junior Lifeguards Association" line from last year's episode "Aqua".
It's a fun episode. But this one gaffe is just too bizarre to allow me to rate this episode any higher than GOOD.

Justice League Unlimited #27

Justice League Unlimited #27
It's OKAY. This issue deals with Black Lightning finding a way to put the Parasite out of comission when he's been sucked dry of his powers.
The tragedy is that this issue could have been so much better. It could have been an in depth exploration of what happens to various superheroes when their powers have crapped out on them. It could have dealt with their struggle to define themselves in the face of losing that which makes them the most unique.
It doesn't do any of that. Instead, it buries its potential with a moral about not ever quitting. I understand that this book is geared towards kids, unlike most comics nowadays, but is that really any excuse for missing one's potential so sorely?
The execution of the story itself is OKAY, but no better.

JLA Classified #29

JLA Classified #29
This gets my second-ever HUH? rating. I don't understand what the hell's going on in this book. I even read last issue, and I still don't get it. You know what? Scratch that - this book is AWFUL. And I can't even identify every character! Very sloppy. Skip this. The only positive part of the entire mess is Batman dressing up like the Midnighter and breaking into an office building. Otherwise, this is not a good issue.

Batman #658

Batman #658
I've gotta say, I was seriously underwhelmed by this arc. Morrison can do so much better. Of course, he's done worse. But he made some decisions in telling this story that I really don't understand. For example, at first I was all excited about "Son of the Demon" being brought back into continuity, but then Grant went ahead and crafted a different story around Batman and Talia's child. Completely unnecessary, and not a good decision at all. Then he goes ahead and makes this child a whiny little brat who is so annoying that it's nearly impossibly to empathize with him. Seriously, if he'd truly been raised by the League of Assassins, he'd have been beaten bloody for being such an incorrigible brat. Repeatedly.
And Talia...to have orchestrated this entire scheme merely to get Batman to join her as her husband seems, well, maybe just the slightest bit needy? Codependent? Talia is a strong woman, and I don't see her acting like this. And if all she wants is to be by Bruce's side, then why not join him in crimefighting? Why insist on remaining the head of an inactive assassins' guild? Ridiculous, implausible, and, oh yeah, "Hh" is not a word, nor is it a sound. With each successive use of the pseudo-onomatopeia-like word, I become more and more annoyed.
EH. I miss Dini on Detective. But at least his replacement is keeping stories to single issues.

Robin #156

Robin #156
I was really looking forward to getting this book, and was very happy once I read it. For once, a superhero book with absolutely no fighting whatsoever - just Robin going through an average day. You know there can't always be crazies running around. And just by swinging around randomly, there's no way that Robin could hope to run across a mugging or burglary every single night. So in this issue, we see how Tim spends his downtime. And it's an EXCELLENT glimpse. He visits Dodge in the hospital, he talks to some people he's obviously made connections with, but that we haven't ever seen before - something I'd definitely like to see more of. These interpersonal relationships are important, because they are a large part of what define us as individuals.
At the end of the issue, Robin notices a jumper, so he swings by to talk with him. But mostly to listen. And after the jumper decides not to go through with it, they head out to get breakfast. I'd actually like to see more interactions like this...people being friends with Robin, as opposed to people being friends with Tim.
And it's a one-off story, to boot. EXCELLENT reading.

Birds of Prey #100

Birds of Prey #100
I've been looking forward to this issue for several months now. Although it isn't as good as I had expected it would be, it's still quite EXCELLENT, all the more so since it did not neglect the interaction between Canary and her new sister/daughter Sin. That's the one thing which I may miss most about her departure from the team. The Birds of Prey have always been about the chicks of the DCU, although never exclusively, recalling Beetle's tenure with them, as well as their attempted recruitment of the new Blue Beetle. I agree with Paul's comment as to breasts being, apparently, the only qualification for inclusion on this new team. That said, it surprises me that Babs would have sent out so many invites before whittling the selection down to her top picks, especially when some of those she invited were certain to refuse, as did Power Girl. And since Babs is now going on a recruitment drive, I find that it calls even further into question the decision that she made regarding her treatment of the new Batgirl. I would think that that would have been a perfect place to start beefing up the roster, especially since one of her goals used to be the training of superheroines. With a teacher of Helena's caliber on the permanent roster, her group would be an excellent place to accomplish that. Sort of like a school for metas. Some of her choices seem extremely obscure - I've been reading this series since the days of Gorf, and I still can't figure out who many of the invitees are. I love the inclusion of Kate Spencer on the team, especially since she functions entirely within her civilian identity on it. Barda mystifies me - is that "Big" Barda or the "Little" Barda that was introduced in Teen Titans? It's never made clear. I would assume it to be Big Barda, since she acquits herself competently, but I may be wrong. Anyways, like I said, this issue is quite EXCELLENT. I do hope that the Canary and Sin story is not allowed to fall by the wayside. Even without any sort of superheroing, it's still an interesting relationship.

White Tiger #1

White Tiger #1
It's perfectly readable, and I enjoyed it, but I felt that its most interesting moments revolved around Tiger's interactions with the Black Widow. Also, although it was chucklesome, where, when, and how did Spidey enter into the costume scene? It felt as if a page had been inadvertently omitted. I don't find it to be a smart idea, though, to secure her amulet in a location where it could be snatched by a lucky bad guy. Better to stash it under the suit, and create a facsimile for show. But hey, I'm not a superhero, so what do I know? Just OKAY, but give this book time to create its own identity and it might turn out to be pretty good.

Astonishing X-Men #18

Astonishing X-Men #18

I've been reading other reviewers regularly, even though my own posting has taken a dive as of late. I hope to rectify that situation this week, and I hope that somebody actually noticed. But I've felt like shit for not posting all this time, and the more I've neglected it, the worse I feel.

Regarding Joss Whedon's last arc of Astonishing. Looking back at his limited comics portfolio, it's obvious that his work can be much, much better - just look to his opening arc from way back when on Astonishing. However, even when read together in one shot, these last six issues make very little sense. Sure, there's an underlying advancement of plot, but the details themselves are completely bewildering, to a fault. Often, I hadn't the slightest clue as to what was supposed to be happening - except in the broadest of strokes. Many details made no sense to me whatsoever - even though the art is absolutely beautiful, I still couldn't figure out what was going on. If Buffy had been like this, it would have been cancelled before the start of its second season. And the pacing. Many people, including myself occasionally, have criticized Bendis for his laconic pacing, but this is just ridiculous. If any of Whedon's television programs had been paced like this, they would never have acquired the fanbase which they now yet hold. And, taken as a whole, this story isn't even a good one - in fact, it's considerably weaker than "Danger", which was not very good at all. The only notable parts of this arc were the introduction of the kids in the mansion (which really seems to be quite empty otherwise), and the transformations of Wolverine, Beast, and Cyclops...each of which could still have been focused on for a single issue, while still maintaining the forward momentum of an accelerated story. For instance, each episode could have been presented from the altered viewpoint of one of those main characters. That would have been interesting. I've been seriously considering letting my mail subscription to this title lapse...the next arc will determine my decision. (I need to subscribe to at least two books to retain my current pricing, so I've got to figure out another book to take its place - either Daredevil or Cable/Deadpool - any suggestions?) Regarding this arc, each issue has been more AWFUL than that which preceded it.

Quote of the Week #6

Quote of the Week #6
And for this week, I figured that I'd posit (that's not a spelling error) the following:

"The Civil Crisis of Identical Wars"? Classic.
And in response to Mxyzptlk:

"Best Story Ever!!" or at least that I've read so far this week.
(From Superman/Batman Annual #1)

Last week's Quote of the Week

Quote of the Week #5
Sorry, I haven't had much time to post, as I explained in my earlier post. I had meant to post this image, but things were quite crazy, as you can imagine.
In Wolverine #47, Wolverine sums up the state of the union much better than has been done previously, in just one panel. This reflects both the state of the Marvel union and the state of our union currently. He pinpoints and addresses the most pertinent problem facing citizens of this country:

'Nuff said.

Shadowpact #6

Shadowpact #6
Approaching this as someone who hasn't read the first four issues of Shadowpact, hardly remembers Day of Vengeance, and never really read magical comics - with the exception of the Delano and Ennis trades of Hellblazer, and obviously anything Gaiman - in the first place, you can trust me when I tell you that this is a GOOD book. I'm not very familiar with the characters, I have no idea who the guy in his underwear is, and yet, I am entertained. What more can you ask from a single issue of any comic? The dialogue is witty and the ideas are original - as far as I can tell. The only problem I have with this issue is the villain. What's his motivation? Who is he? Has he ever appeared before? How is he dispatched so easily by Blue Devil? For that matter, how does he defeat Enchantress and Ragman so handily? And what do the dogs do? Who were they? The cover tells me that this is the Wild Huntsman, so does this have anything to do with the Welsh/British legend of the Wild Hunt? Or is this just some random meta who thought it'd be a cool name?
Still, since the fight isn't the point of the issue - rather, the point of the fight is to turn Enchantress and Ragman into dogs - I'd say that this is a GOOD issue. I can't say that I'm looking forward to the next issue, but I'll definitely read it (as oppsed to saving it for later).

Heroes 1x03-04

Heroes 1x03-04
Giving credit where credit is due, my wife pointed this out to me:
At the end of "One Giant Leap", Claire gets "killed" while being raped. Brody, the quarterback, disposes of her body, and it is discovered later that night.
Question: How was the body discovered so soon? Who found it? Seeing as Claire was wearing a cheerleader's outfit, and that her school was having a party that night, why wasn't her school informed? How was nobody but Brody aware that she had been killed? Makes no sense. And even on second viewing, I didn't pick up on this. Hum.
Still, it's a GOOD show.

Union Jack #2

Union Jack #2
EH. I really don't see why this title was needed, or why this story needed to be told. Honestly, it's a poor imitation of Greg Rucka's "Queen and Country", tweaked for superheroes. Yet another of last week's titles that's really just not interesting at all. A waste of time. Not bad per se, just an utter waste of time.

Ultimate Fantastic Four #35

Ultimate Fantastic Four #35
So, when is this title getting cancelled? It used to be good, but this issue is just CRAP. There's no point in even elaborating on it any further. It's just really not any good.

Catwoman #60

Catwoman #60
Wherein Selina busts Holly out of jail. Explain something to me...Holly was a prostitute, right? So how is it possible that her fingerprints aren't on file, and the cops know exactly who she is and where she lives? Why don't they know?
Grant Morrison kills some more people, and sets King Kong loose from Cadmus. Sorry, I meant to say Film Freak. Selina knocks out Kong in time to stop him from killing any cops.
And Karon figures out the M.O. behind Film Freak's activities, thus revealing him to have been their perpetrator.
But me, I'm just not caring any more. One year later started off okay, but has gotten progressively more EH. And this issue is no exception. EH.

52 #24

52 #24
OKAY. What this title really needs is all Ambush Bug all the time! And is that Captain Jack Sparrow on the front page of the Daily Planet? I'm disappointed that in Booster's origin, they completely glossed over the fact that BG's original equipment was destroyed by Doomsday and successive battles, and he then had a cybernetic suit of armor (along with a new arm) built by Blue Beetle. What happened to all that? And perhaps this question is late, but how did he revert to his most recent incarnation?

Somebody help me identify all the characters in the snapshots surrounding Atom Smasher. I can identify the following: Bane, Bronze Tiger, Captain Boomerang II, Clayface?, Goliath, Icicle, Onomatopeia(!!). Who are the rest?

Blade #2

Blade #2
I still don't understand Blade's reasoning for not ripping the unborn Doom from his mother's womb. Besides which, Doom has pre-birth memories? WTF is that? The best reasoning for not killing Doom before he's been born is that Blade would then be stuck in the past, since Dr. Doom wouldn't be able to activate the Time Platform to bring him back...nor send him there in the first place...so basically, a time travel paradox would result - since Dr. Doom sent Blade back, Blade can't kill him before he can do so, because then he wouldn't be able to send Blade back, and thus Blade wouldn't be able to kill him. This issue, as you may have ascertained, is CRAP. And oh my god, Chaykin's art surpasses Liefeld's in terms of awfulness.

1602: Fantastick Four #1-2, Ultimate Power #1

1602: Fantastick Four #1-2, Ultimate Power #1
Really, I couldn't care less. This title seems absolutely pointless, and Peter David is writing far below his ability here. This just isn't an interesting story, by any stretch of the imagination, and I've only been reading it because Peter David's other recent work (X-Factor, Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, Fallen Angel) has been so good. But this really isn't.
And in a pre-emptive move, I'm going to show up the Nitpicker:
On the penultimate page, fifth panel, the coloring is completely wrong, and the inexactitude makes reading it very confusing. Reed is colored as Doris Evans, and John Storm is colored as Reed. The context and the oddball word balloons for Reed make this obvious. Oops. The situation is even more confused due to the fact that Reed's hand and arm are not stretched in this panel. I'm not sure how many Bizarres MaGnUs would give this, but it definitely warrants a mention.

And can I just say how sick and tired I am of the Ultimate Power solicits in the back of last week's mags? Especially since Ultimate Power #1 was released last week, and the Squadron Supreme don't even show up until the last page!!! So of what use is a solicit, when it just reads like a standard issue of Ultimate FF??? Besides which, Ultimate Power isn't even that good. It may get better once there's some actual interaction with the Squadron, but until then, its rating is the same as that of the issue being reviewed above (and its predecessor): EH.

Robin #155, Birds of Prey #99

Robin #155, Birds of Prey #99
There seems to be a theme in last week's Bat-titles - that newbies shouldn't get into the superhero game, ever. To my mind, this poses a problem. If the only individuals entitled to fight crime are those who are already established, the world will get old very quickly. Robin #155 "dodge"s the issue, because Robin was obviously a newbie at one time, and he pestered Batman to train him until he acquiesced. Likewise, Birds of Prey #99 dodges the issue as well - Barbara was a kid when she started as Batgirl, and although for a long time Batman tried to dissuade her from her activities, he eventually relented and began treating her as an equal. So why do both Robin and Barbara refuse to entertain the idea of training new superheroes? Why are Dodge and the new Batgirl unworthy of being heroes too? Sure, Dodge is a whiny brat, largely unskilled, and he puts very little thought into his actions. Rather, he reacts. But this is why he requires training! Batgirl is obviously very skilled, and she thinks before she acts. The only negative factor regarding her is her teeny-bopper-speak, and her enthusiasm for superheroing, which she treats as a game. But she approaches her self-appointed role quite competently, and she obviously has excellent detective and technical skills as well. So why won't Babs let her be a Bird? It's time for some new blood. And I really don't see why these new characters can't be incorporated into the family. In my opinion, they would add some elements which are currently missing. Robin used to be about a kid in training. Now, Tim has become so exceedingly competent in his job that it's merely about a teenager trying to fit teenage life into his superheroing. And Birds of Prey used to be about people learning to work together. But the current team has been established for such a long time that it's become somewhat stale. Obviously, Gail Simone realizes this as well, which is why she's having Dinah leave the team. I understand her reasoning, but Canary is too good of a character to relegate to the obscurity of longboxes. Sure, Meltzer may occasionally showcase her in Justice League, but probably just to rape her. Back in the early 90's, Canary's solo title faltered, because at that point the most exciting things about her were her relationship with Green Arrow, and her occasional participation in the JLI. But Simone has made her into a very deep character, one who is currently learning the joys and pains of motherhood, and I would like to see more of that. Unfortunately, it's probably not the type of subject material that's very well suited for its own miniseries, let alone an ongoing title, which is why it was perfect filler material for BoP. Hopefully, Gail will recognize this and give Dinah and Sin the occasional cameo, even if Canary is no longer a part of the team. The funniest thing about this all is that with the departure of Canary, there is not a single member of the Birds of Prey who actually have avian code names (as Jaime Reyes so astutely pointed out when they tried to recruit him).
That said, each of these issues is very EH, not really up to the standards which have been set on either of these books, certainly not BoP. Robin concludes the kidnapping plot, and wraps the Dodge subplot up as well, by putting him in a coma. BoP has a fight between Babs and Batgirl wherein each holds their own, shows Dinah getting out of shape, and features the departure of Canary from the book - boo hoo :(
I hope next month's issues are better.

Quick reviews

I apologize for the lack of posts last week. I was in a bad accident on Monday night, and the rest of the week was therefore somewhat crazy. Thank god I'm fine.

I'm away on business again, and I don't have my current issues with me, but I made some notes on the newest titles, so I'm going to post those, and hopefully I'll expand upon them later - if time allows.

Green Arrow #67

Green Arrow #67
Gee, this story's cover title isn't ripping anyone off, no sir - Survive: Exile Island! Nope, that's the most original cover title I've ever seen!
Anyways, but for Judd Winick reminding us that Mia has HIV, this was another solidly very good issue. Nearly very good, but for the HIV thing, which loses Judd points. Honestly, I'm hoping that the next writer just pulls a Shondra Kinsolving out of his ass so that we can finally get past it, because it was one of the stupidest writing decisions Winick has ever made.
Anyways, remember how Ollie kicked Deathstroke's ass? This issue explains how he got so much better. He trained with someone whose name is Satan spelled backwards, and always wears wooden double platform clogs - even when he fights.
This issue also introduces the prelude to and impetus for Ollie's run for Mayor. Basically, he decided to run when he heard about the wall, and he then finagled the stock market to make a huge killing in order to fund his run. Let's hope he never gets investigated by the SEC, or he'll be joining Martha Stewart in infamy.
We get some nice character moments with Mia and Conner, but they're colored by the HIV thing, so it really comes off as sort of insipid.
That's about it. A GOOD issue, no less.

New X-Men #31

New X-Men #31
I was satisfied with this story until I read the second epilogue. In the second epilogue, it implies that the Nimrod from this issue was cast into the ethers of time and emerged in Uncanny X-Men #191 (mistakenly referred to on the letters page as Uncanny X-Men #192). However, that cannot be the case. It was established years ago that when Nimrod arrived in our time, he followed Rachel Grey from her Days of Future Past timeline, with assistance from Dr. Strange (see Excalibur vol.1 #66 - I think...I couldn't find a copy to confirm this piece of information). So by trying to link this story to the stories from UXM#191, 193-194, 208-209, and, finally, UXM#246-247 (supplemented by the Machine Man/Bastion 1998 annual), the writers of New X-Men have screwed up continuity. My recommendation is to read the issue but omit the last page, or possibly the last two pages. Otherwise, continuity is damaged.
See, Nimrod was shoved through the Siege Perilous, and therein combined with Master Mold, to become Bastion, who, although he hasn't been seen in a while, still exists in the Marvel Universe, and should anyone decide to use him in the future, this second epilogue may prove problematic. Man, I really hate it when writers don't give a shit about continuity.

Otherwise, this issue is OKAY. We finally get some character development, the New X-Men finally work together as a team, and the death-fest of this past year ends - hopefully for good.

So, in the final analysis, the first 34 pages of the book are OKAY, followed by an odd, nearly unrelated epilogue which is EH, followed by the second epilogue which is ASS.
Make of that what you will.

Uncanny X-Men #479

Uncanny X-Men #479
I'll admit, I haven't read the last several issues of this title...once they got into space, I got bored. However, I've read people's reviews where they said that each issue in this arc could be taken as a story unto itself, and I've wanted to read a good X-Men comic for some time, so I read this issue. And it is good. VERY GOOD, in fact. And even beyond the merits of the story told in this issue is one huge point to Brubaker's credit: he actually manages to make sense out of Claremont's whole Shiar Deathwatch Phoenix Rachel Grey Family Murderers Squad with Awful Names story. According to his explanation, the entire Grey clan was murdered because there was a possibilty that each of them contained the genetic potential to host the Phoenix entity. Thus, they were massacred. And the brand applied to Rachel's back allows the Shiar to know whenever she's around, so that they can dispatch someone to finish her off. Which is what they do here. They dispatch someone whose ancestor also once played host to the Phoenix entity, and upon his death was able to save a small portion of the Phoenix force inside his huge honkin' sword - which could thereafter only be wielded by his genetic descendants. Sure, it's a bit convoluted, but Brubaker has to make sense of years worth of sloppy storytelling, and, to his credit, he does it very well. Anyways, when the Phoenix descendant dispatched to kill Rachel finally encounters her, she mind melds with him, and they discover that their lives have been Uncannily similar. His whole family was wiped out by the Shiar, as was hers; he was conscripted to serve evil masters against his will, as was she; and they share a moment. She also drains the sword of its Phoenix force. (Rachel needs some good lovin' - she and this Shiar dude should hook up.)
Meanwhile, the Professor is kidnapped by the Shiar who the X-Men had taken aboard their vessel, and Darwin follows by hanging on to the ship - from the outside!!!

A VERY GOOD issue, and I'm not burdened by the fact that I haven't read the last few. That's how a good comic should be.

Wolverine: Origins #7

Wolverine: Origins #7
Why do I keep punishing myself every month and keep reading this garbage? There's only one reason: Steve Dillon's art. If not for that, I would have been running away screaming a long time ago. Is it wrong to hope that he leaves soon so that I can feel okay about stopping this title entirely? Of course, if Way would ever get around to actually telling entire stories set in the past, as opposed to random time-displaced flashbacks that don't make much sense, the entire series might be worthy of its name. However, as it is, this book is no good. Utter CRAP.
And remember that whole controversy regarding the supposed "death" of Silver Fox from issue #5? Well, when called on it in the letters page by two astute readers, the editors pass it off by saying that the apparent continuity error is all part of Way's grand scheme. Personally, I think they're covering for him. I think he forgot, and then when the fans reminded him, rather than admit his mistake and say "whoops!" he started lying and saying this was all part of his grand plan for the title. Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not buying that. Way fucked up. End of story.
What CRAP.

Ebert's Law

For those who aren't yet aware of it, there is a giant flame war in progress between Greg Burgas, one of the reviewers at Comics Should Be Good, and Tom Beland, writer of True Story, Swear to God.
Essentially, Greg panned Tom's work, and Tom got all pissy about it, so he posted a comment to Greg's review which included a challenge for Greg to do better.
Man, if that isn't the cop out to end all cop outs. Take reviews for what they are: one person's opinions, mostly gut reactions to the work we've read. I personally don't think that I'm an imaginative enough writer to script comics, but you never hear any creators challenging their negative reviewers to get into comic book editing, do you? I think that I would excel in that position, and that comic book editors should be self-professed, proven, comic book fans, otherwise, what use is their okay on a product which is unreadable to the majority of comic book purchasers?
Anyways, the title of this post refers to a very astute observation on the part of a fellow blogger concerning the opinion that many creators seem to have with reviewers who challenge their work. (For those who can't tell that Ebert's Law is meant to be satirical...well, it is.)

Smallville 6x02 "Sneeze"

Smallville 6x02 "Sneeze"
Okay, so I'm watching this a week late, and yeah, it's the first episode with Ollie Queen, but that's not what I'm here to talk about. And Clark discovers "super-breath", but that's not it either.

At time index 38:33 we get a close up of the remote for Lex's security system. Does it look familiar? It should...note the peculiar symbol underneath its screen?
Anybody?
That's the Global Frequency symbol!
And this is the phone that was designed for the Global Frequency pilot which the goddamned WB didn't pick up, awesome as it was. And now they have the chutzpah to reuse the central prop from a show they couldn't be bothered to give a chance to in a completely different context? What absolute wankers!

Now that I'm good and pissed off (as a friend always told me, it's better to be pissed off than pissed on), why the hell are they making Oliver Queen a quasi-villain?

Whatever.
Goddamn WB (CW)!!!

Still, the sequence at the end, where Ollie is shooting arrows from his rooftop deck, and says "how about...Borneo", and then fires an arrow into the Daily Planet globe, is one of the best final moments from any Smallville episode in a very, very, long time.

The Nitpicker has returned

I got an email from MaGnUs today. His column is back online. I just read it at Jazma Online, but apparently, it is also available at Newsarama.

Doctor Strange: The Oath #1

Doctor Strange: The Oath #1
This is a welcome change of pace. A miniseries about Doctor Strange that's actually about Doctor Strange. One that doesn't try to revamp him and make him "hipper" for a new generation of comics readers. Doctor Strange has always been archaic, and that's part of his charm, but another essential part of his allure is that he is a licensed physician, well-versed in medicine as well as spiritual remedies. Sadly, this aspect of his personality is often neglected, in favor of the more mystical aspects of his nature. Yet they need not exist independently of one another. And this book gets it right.
It also provides insight into the complex nature of Strange's relationship with his servant, Wong, one that highlights the personal friendship between the two men, and shows how they complement each other's abilities.
And, as a hook, we get a glimpse of the "Night Nurse"'s waiting room, occupied by Arana and Iron Fist, both waiting to have injuries attended to, when Wong comes crashing in with his master, who has been shot. As the Night Nurse attends to Strange's injuries, his astral form converses with her, filling her in on the details of how he ended up in this condition. Apparently, Wong has an inoperable brain tumor, and has no more than three months to live. Characteristically, Doctor Strange wants a second opinion. He discovers a portal to another dimension where an elder god guards an elixir which can potentially cure Wong. Battling the god and emerging victorious, Strange performs tests on the elixir prior to administering it, discovering, to his surprise, that it is in fact the panacea for all cancers.
This is a VERY GOOD issue. I'm hesitant to rate it higher, because I've been burned before, but Brian K. Vaughan shows tremendous respect for his source material, as always, and his characters talk like normal people. With Marcos Martin pencilling, Alvaro Lopez on inks, and Javier Rodriguez coloring, the art is beautiful, and well-suited to a Doctor Strange tale. I'm looking forward to the next installment.

Incredible Hulk #99

Incredible Hulk #99
A very EH issue. Basically, although this issue is supposed to be the conclusion of the "Planet Hulk: Anarchy" storyline, it doesn't actually resolve anything and leads directly into the next storyline. And I really couldn't care less about any of the supporting characters, as they're largely disposable anyways, there is no vested interest in any of them surviving. And Hulk himself seems to have gotten a tremendous power upgrade - to the point that he now seems to be invincible. This effectively removes any dramatic tension which might otherwise have been generated by the story. Like I said, EH.

Quote of the Week #4

Quote of the Week #4
In a shameless display of self-promotion, this week's quote comes from the letters page of Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #13.
"...witty repartee and plethora of pop-culture..."
Check that alliteration out!

The Irredeemable Ant-Man #1

The Irredeemable Ant-Man #1
Quite an oddball little title. Which actually makes it somewhat endearing. Even though the main character is clearly a bit of a schmuck. But the title makes that point anyways, doesn't it?
A low level S.H.I.E.L.D. functionary discovers Hank Pym's new Ant-Man suit and uses it to score chicks. That's it. The rest of the issue is all backstory - which is still unfinished. The story was okay, but didn't really have very much of a conclusion - which is fine for the initial issue of a new title.
The art by Hester and Parks is absolutely beautiful. It reminds me of the good old days on Green Arrow before Ollie and Dinah's relationship was so casually sabotaged, and Mia got given HIV. Love it. I'll definitely stick around for the rest.
As for Kirkman, his writing is usually pretty good, as long as he isn't just hacking it out like in Marvel Team-Up, or never sticking to his deadlines like on Walking Dead. If he stays serious (or Slott-serious at least), and gets this book out monthly, it has the potential to go further than merely six issues.
Unfortunately, the book may suffer somewhat from very little visible press coverage. I read it on a lark - not quite certain of what to expect within. I actually expected something completely outside of mainstream Marvel continuity. I picked it up based solely on the word Irredeemable in the title.
I hope that this GOOD book gets a chance to EXCEL.

X-Men: Phoenix - Warsong #2

X-Men: Phoenix - Warsong #2
So, apparently this book has nothing to do with the Phoenix entity, which leaves me wondering, why does it include "Phoenix" in the title?
So here's the point of this issue: the Stepford Cuckoos are not actually children...they're Weapon Plus constructs. Made of nanomachines, unable to truly perish, and actually five of a myriad number - and I can't help but wonder if each of the host of Cuckoos has a name, and if so, who had the arduous task of naming them all?
When the Cuckoos came to the school, they implanted psychic blocks in all the X-Men so that nobody would ever question where they had come from, or realize that they hadn't ever been medically scanned. Now Emma has removed those blocks.
And the three "living" Cuckoos have returned to the Weapon Plus facility and restarted the flow of time there, and the two "dead" Cuckoos are on their way.
That's it.
So, no longer ass, since it's obvious that this series does have a point - namely to remake the interesting Stepford Cuckoos into uninteresting Weapon Plus constructs. I don't agree with it, but it does have a point. So, OKAY. Let's see where it goes from here.

52 #22 / Heroes 1x02

52 #22 / Heroes 1x02
This EXCELLENT show, for which Jeph Loeb is an executive producer, is, to my mind, very like what 52 should be. Every week we get to see a little bit of each of the characters, advancing each of their plot lines, however so slightly. Questions are raised, small answers are given, clues to the future are present, and plotlines seem to converge somewhat.
52 should be the same way. Instead, this week we get ONE PAGE with actual dialogue from one of our main characters (Steel). The rest of the issue focuses on Doc Magnus (who at some point since T.O. Morrow's disappearance has apparently gone loony), Lex Luthor's not being able to metahumanize himself, and Jon Standing Bear - some Native American dude we've never seen before. And the profile of "Green Lantern", not "Hal Jordan" or "Green Lantern 2814.1", is incorrect - the yellow impurity was not "overridden by Hal's will", as anyone who read Rebirth knows. Also, as part of the essential storylines, Jordan's turns as Parallax and Spectre aren't even mentioned - nor is his death! An incomplete bio if I ever saw one. Instead of the John Stewart panel, how about one of him conquering Parallax? If this comic is ever going to actually tell complete stories, now would be the time to start doing so. I've basically lost interest in this book (which is why I haven't reviewed it in detail, heck, at all, for some time). Very much sub-EH.
But if you love comics you should definitely be watching Heroes. Don't let it get cancelled.

This video is awesome!

I'm too excited to do much else tonight: check out this clip.

Friendly Neigborhood Spider-Man #13

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #13
Oh my god! This is so freaking cool! Not the issue, although it's pretty darn good, but check out the last page - no the one after that...the letters page...the last letter...THAT'S MINE!!! The first time I ever wrote in to this title, and it got published!!! So, I was going to say that this issue is only very good, because it left me more confused than I had been before, but OH MY GOD IT'S FREAKING EXCELLENT!!! (In case you don't read this title, check out my blog entry for last month's issue. That's the letter...just a bit longer.)

okay, i'm shutting up now.

The Trials of Shazam! #2

The Trials of Shazam! #2
Okay, this series has suddenly gotten much better. Apparently, Billy is now the vessel for the power of Shazam, and Freddy must prove himself worthy to be the new Captain Marvel - to be called Shazam. (I guess Shazam will be the servant of Captain Marvel, but nomenclature aside, it's a good idea.) Anyways, Freddy was the lucky one. He wasn't in the air when the power flux occurred. So he's still in one piece. Poor Mary. She's comatose, severely disfigured, and utterly broken, because she was three miles up when she lost her powers. Poor Mary. If Winick kills her, I'll fucking hate him. Women in refrigerators anyone? Winick just loves to crap on the womenfolk. Most be some sort of inferiority complex. Whatever.
That aside, it's a good issue. Freddy is sent by Cap to go on a quest to meet with each of the sponsors: Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles, and Mercury; and he must prove himself worthy to each one. Then he will be bestowed with the power of Shazam as Billy was, and the lineage of Captains Marvel will continue. Otherwise, it will be passed on to another lineage.
Why can't it be Mary? Why can't Cap fix her? Poor Mary.
As far as the new status quo for magic in the DC Universe, Freddy sums it up neatly with just one line, where nobody else could even make it coherent before: "it's like H.P. Lovecraft on steroids out there."
And the art is much more solid this time around. A low GOOD this time...but only because I appreciate Freddie as a character and appreciate them trying to do more with him in the way of character development. I sincerely hope that he will become the focus of this book.

She-Hulk #12

She-Hulk #12
We know that Shulkie doesn't wear panties. Does the Living Tribunal wear pants? See cover. "Judge" for yourself.
More later.

X-Factor #11

X-Factor #11
Another EXCELLENT issue, one that contributes to our overall understanding of mutants. As far as we've seen, mutants only begin to express their powers during puberty or times of great stress. Why did we never think about the fact that we knew that Jamie split when the doctor slapped his newborn bottom? And never once did anyone question why his mutancy displayed itself so early? Well, PAD did, and here, he adds to the mythology of homo-superior: mutants are an evolution of an earlier type of mutation which displayed itself far earlier, and was nearly always rewarded with death. So the mutant gene laid dormant until puberty, when its host would be in more of a position to control his abilities, or to defend himself.
It's a workable theory...the only mutants to survive in bygone times would have been the ones whose mutancy didn't display itself until adolescence. All those who exhibited mutant abilities earlier would have been killed, thus ending the evolutionary arm. However, even nowadays, there are people born with prehensile tails, webbed digits, and other atavistic traits - not all of which are the fault of the mother. Sometimes, it's just genetics. Our human bodies are such that they recognize most non-viable mutations, and the fetuses who display such mutations are aborted or stillborn. So, yes, it's a very scientifically sound theory. And in an age where it is not considered okay to leave your infant on a pile of manure on Christmas Eve to be replaced with a so-called "normal" child, it's quite believable that the occasional "atavistic" mutations would be able to survive. Hence, Jamie.
We also learn here that Tryp has many powers. Some which we have already seen are mesmerism, and immortality. He implies that he has weather-control capabilities as well. Apparently he is a multiplicant too.
And that's just the first four pages!
Then the team quickly figures out that Guido's switched his allegiances, apparently through a hypnotic suggestion, and we learn that when Quicksilver applies the Terragen Mists to an already-powered mutant, a sort of biofeedback ensues which knocks said mutant out. "Interesting development, isn't it?" he says. If PAD didn't already win quote of the week himself, this would do it!
In order to get into Singularity without tripping Tryp's (get it?) alarms, Madrox calls in a bomb threat to the FBI, Homeland Security, the fire department, and the police. They forcibly evacuate the building, leaving Terry and Julio free to walk in dressed in bomb suits. It's a brilliant plan. Jamie gives himself too little credit for being able to make decisions.
An EXCELLENT issue of an EXCELLENT title. Already one of my favorite monthly books.

Quote of the Week #3

This week's Quote of the Week comes from the recap page of X-Factor #11, where we learn that killing someone in cold blood is the same as killing someone in warm blood, except with the air conditioning on.

Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes #22

Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes #22
I like this title. I really do. It's so much better than the crap published monthly in our eponymous heroine's own book.
One question: I understand why Karate Kid wears wristwraps, but why does he wear them all over his body? Is he a mummy or something?
This issue: Everybody Loves Supergirl! Well, so we're led to believe at first. But by issue's end, it turns out the only person in love with Supergirl is that ultimate of stalkers, Invisible Kid. Yuck.
Even though he's only doing layouts on this issue, I'm glad Kitson's still with us. And Bedard has joined Waid! He's just popping up all over the place, nowadays, isn't he!? Not much else to say. A solidly GOOD issue. And the upcoming elections should be fun.

Blue Beetle #7

Blue Beetle #7
Okay, we're back on track here. This title is back to being very VERY GOOD, after the massive whatthefu#$? that was the last two issues. Part of that is Duncan Rouleau's fault. Part of it. But whatever, Giffen's back to form here, giving us a recap issue (for those who missed out on Infinite Crisis, it fills them in on all the pertinent aspects of the story) where we find out why Jaime had a missing year. And the answer is actually pretty simple and straightforward, considering...the Scarab shunted Jaime into the space between dimensions that Brother Eye had been occupying before it blew up. However, since it blew up, it destabilized that entire region, causing time to move quicker, and Jaime never actually lost any time - he just skipped it. And apparently, the Scarab was created by a race with something to fear from the Green Lanterns. Which explains why Guy Gardner attacked Jaime when he crashed. Anyways, the supporting cast is all here, the backstory is all told, and now, it's time to hit the road! Please let further issues be similar to this one and not the last two...please, please...VERY GOOD.

JSA Classified #27

JSA Classified #27
Ever since reading Swamp Thing's post on Ralph Dibny's blog, which he directed at Rick Tyler, I have wondered what this issue would bring. Basically, it confirms Rick's and Ralph's worst fears, and proves the point: "Swamp Thing is a Massive Asshole". Apparently Swamp Thing is currently running the Santa Priscan mobs, and is using his knowledge of all things botanical to create a new Venom drug which, once administered, is lethal to withdraw from. (Kindof like in Spider-Man 2099 - I'll have to look that up.) Anyways, knowing that Rex Tyler could find a way to undo the addiction caused by this new drug, Swamp Thing sent Bane to kidnap him. Things got worse when Rick and Bane broke into Bannerman pharmaceuticals, the company Rex was working for when he discovered Miraclo. Apparently, they hijacked the incomplete research on Miraclo, and used it to create a Super-Soldier Serum which eventually was transmuted into Venom. So now, Bane wants to kill Rex Tyler for discovering the whole thing. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. Rex Tyler is Bane's last hope to be cured of his addiction. Without him, Bane will die! What a nutball. This is a GOOD issue, and, obviously, all references to Swamp Thing are completely this author's invention...or are they?

Teen Titans #39

Teen Titans #39
Well, I've gotta tell you, I'm seriously underwhelmed by this arc. The concept holds so much promise, yet nothing much comes of it. You could even drag this arc out to 12 parts, each one focusing on flashbacks of one of the rejects' time as a Titan, and it would be more interesting than this. The only character from the last two issues who interests me in the slightest is the Martian "Girl"hunter. Because, it appears from the last page, she is actually a White Martian. Yet, not the traitor. Is the traitor Rose? I hope not. She's too promising a character to remove, and anyways, there's a history of Deathstroke's children partnering with the Titans. Still, this issue is better than last issue, but not yet more than OKAY.

Deadman #2

Deadman #2
What the hell was that? I have no idea what the fuck I just read. It's nonlinear in the extreme, even more so than Grant Morrison's "Invisibles" (which I hated), and makes no sense! Is Brandon Cayce dead? Alive? Married? Not? Lucid? Dreaming? Hallucinating? Is Sara a Physics teacher? Psychology teacher? What the FUCK is going on?
AWFUL...just AWFUL. I really was looking forward to reading this after last month's setup issue. I figured that Bruce Jones couldn't completely suck. As usual, I gave the benefit of the doubt to the wrong person and I got burned. This book is a sheer waste of trees. Do NOT buy it. If you have bought it, see if you can return it. What a fucking waste. Not as bad as Nightwing, but very fucking close.

(At least Justice League proved that Boston Brand is still around.)

Quote of the Week #2

Quote of the Week #2
Well, this one isn't really current, and it's rather long winded, so instead of copying it word for word, I'll post scans and you can see what I mean.
The following sequence come from the final pages of Ultimate Spider-Man #49, which is quite an EXCELLENT issue.
I'm including the entire sequence, because it's more entertaining that way.

Brilliant new meme

This new meme was composed by bully in response to a challenge at The Absorbascon. It's a riff on the upcoming cover for Teen Titans, and the fact that many believe Blue Devil to be gay. Enjoy!

Ultimate Six

Ultimate Six #1-7
Well, I've been catching up on my Ultimate reading lately. Since I only started reading Ultimate Fantastic Four from the beginning, and I started reading Ultimate Spider-Man from Annual #1, I really felt like I was missing something. So I started reading USM from the beginning. I've got to say, I love it. It's a VERY GOOD series. But that's not the point of this review.
Ultimate Six, at least according to the timelines I've been able to locate, occurs following USM #45. So at that point in my reading, I read Ultimate Six. It's obvious that Bendis and Millar have very different ideas of the Ultimates and Nick Fury in the Ultimate Universe. Any of you reading my blog will know what I think of Millar's portrayal of the Ultimates. But Bendis is a different matter, and truthfully, I am once again optimistic...well, I'll save that for later. Analysis first.

Bendis portrays Nick Fury as a genuinely concerned parental-type figure when it comes to his dealings with Peter Parker. He also characterizes Captain America in a completely different manner: in this series, Captain America shows that he is visibly outraged at the actions taken by S.H.I.E.L.D. and the US government to try to create more super-soldiers like him. Far from his fascist portrayal in the pages of The Ultimates, this Cap is a genuinely concerned individual, with a clear moral conscience. Likewise, Hank Pym is not portrayed herein as a psychopath, but rather as a man who has given his life for science, to the extent that he has let his relationships with others suffer. And thus Janet Pym is truly concerned for him, out of love, not out of some twisted masochistic urge.

However, I read this series for Spidey, not for the Ultimates, and, frankly, was a bit disappointed. Spider-Man is no more than a supporting character in this drama, even though he gets marquis billing. In fact, it's not even Spidey who's the character here, it's Peter Parker, as not once does he wear his mask. This isn't a story about Peter Parker, though, it's a story about the weird freaks he's come into contact with over his first 27 issues: Green Goblin, Electro, Doc Ock, Sandman, and Kraven. They have been incarcerated by S.H.I.E.L.D. (man, typing that really gets annoying) for illegal genetic augmentation, although it was my impression that Doc Ock's transformation was completely accidental, so it seems they're just creating a charge in order to hold him securely. Anyways, S.H.I.E.L.D. (cut and pasted that time!) has been trying to glean as much as they can from Norman Osborne and Otto Octavius, and Ock seems to go along with their efforts, except that really he's setting up an escape. They all escape, blackmail the President, blackmail Fury, kidnap Peter, threaten May and MJ, and then try to take over the White House, though I don't exactly understand why. It seems as if Bendis lost sight of where he was trying to go with this series by the time he got to issue six, so he had to create a new ending for it. One that doesn't really make much sense. My only idea about it is that he was trying to figure out a way to motivate Harry Osborne into hatred for Spider-Man (whom he finds out is Parker) and S.H.I.E.L.D., in order to make him the Hobgoblin. However, why S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn't erase this incident from Harry's mind with hypnosis or psychic surgery is mystifying, and seems very irresponsible of them. Like I said, the ending doesn't make much sense.
Also, I'm confused as to why the President is kept completely in shadows in every scene he's in, when The Ultimates makes it quite obvious that he is George W. Bush. Maybe Bendis is trying to say "he's not my president", and frankly, I wouldn't blame him, but this isn't a political blog, so I'll shut up now.

I was saying earlier that this series makes me hopeful for the future of the Ultimate Universe. Since Bendis has written so many books set in this universe, it's clear that he has some sort of vision for it, but that apparently his vision differs quite profoundly from Mark Millar's. However, back to the point, seeing how the Ultimates are treated in such a different manner in Bendis' book makes me realize that no matter what series they show up in or crossover into, their attitudes and personalities will always be controlled by that book's particular writers, and not by Mark Millar. So even though Millar might be a fascist goon, it does not necessarily follow that he will succeed in molding the rest of the Ultimate Universe to the whims of his peculiar beliefs. What I mean to say is that I no longer fear Ultimates appearances in the other books in the Ultimate line...although I may be completely wrong, and we should be afraid...very afraid.

Ultimate Six: OKAY
Ultimate Spider-Man: VERY GOOD
The Ultimates: Still ASS