Thursday, August 10, 2006

Wolverine: Origins #5

Wolverine: Origins #5
I figured out why Daniel Way is such a bad writer: it's because he assumes that everybody knows what he's talking about even when he hasn't told them yet! Here we get a "startling" revelation from Wolverine's past which makes less sense than the first time Way tried to "reveal" it. Apparently, Wolvie once lived with a Native-American woman who became pregnant with his child. This woman was then murdered, and now, it seems, the unborn child was stolen from her womb. Why Wolverine wouldn't notice that she had been eviscerated is tangential to the main concern: NOBODY HAS ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING TALKING ABOUT, WAY! We also get the revelation that the Muramasa blade is the only thing that can actually kill Wolverine. Why? Dunno. Because Way says so. And in that case, why the fuck has Wolvie been taking a weapon that can fucking kill him with him everywhere he goes? Why not, oh I don't know, destroy it? Wouldn't that make more sense?
Daniel Way seems to contradict himself as well. In his run on the parent title, he outright stated that it was the Winter Soldier who killed Wolvie's family, but now, he says that it was Sabretooth. Um, are they the same person? And how did Wolvie know him at that point?
The art is beautiful, but due to the awful script, some things still don't make sense. For instance: Wolverine and Captain America are fighting, and suddenly Cap collapses saying "Ah--! My leg--!" First of all, I dont understand what the hyphens are for. Does Daniel Way not understand the usage of punctuation in the English language? And secondly: Wolverine didn't even touch Cap!
Way's characterization of Julian is all wrong. Julian is supposed to be completely full of himself, not a scaredy cat. And why would Wolverine shift the focus of his berzerker rage to Hellion in the first place? Because he telekinetically held him in place? If he wasn't thinking clearly, then how would he know? And how is he able to move anyways? Why wouldn't Emma intervene immediately? And since when is she a precog? Or have visions? And eventually Cap collapses from the blood clot in his neck, and they just fucking leave him there! Later, he is shown getting up, without any intervention!!! Let's not even mention how everybody just leaves Nuke lying there, limbless. And who in their right minds could possibly believe that if it came down to it Cyclops could take Wolverine out with a sword??? Seriously, he'd be kibbles. Maybe Colossus or Juggernaut or Sabretooth. Maybe. But Cyke would be worm food. No question. And if Wolverine wanted to hand the sword over to Cyclops, why wouldn't he sheathe it first?? That way nobody would get the wrong idea. Cyclops pathetically cringes like a little girl from the sight of Wolverine coming at him with a sword. Ugh. AWFUL.
Steve Dillon's art is beautiful as always, but not even that can redeem this book. AWFUL. Maybe even CRAP. I don't know. This issue is just so very bad. Yup, it's CRAP: even after rereading Way's arc on Wolverine, this makes no fucking sense. Hell, by my language you can see how put off I am by the CRAPpiness of this issue. In fact, this issue doesn't even have much to do with the previous four issues on this title. God what a steaming pile of CRAP. (Can you tell how much I hate it?)
Previous issue

No comments: