Civil War #1

Civil War #1
Oh my god. This is just so ASS. Starting at the beginning of the book, does anyone really believe that a super-villains necessary reaction to a super-hero raid is "Everybody in costume"! No? I didn't think so either. What kind of psycho blows up an entire school just to prove that he's big time? Why not just unleash and kill the superhero on him? Whatever. Sure, the New Warriors were part of a reality TV show, but only as much as policemen are on C.O.P.S. Don't negate the good work they do, just because they did it on tape! And here come the cliches: Goliath: "this IS [sic] the straw that broke the camel's back". I vaguely remember Philly getting bombed as some evil dude's vindictiveness, but what did superheroes have to do with it? What could they have done? And where has Goliath been all these years? So how does he know if/that Wolverine actually threatened to KILL the president? More from him: "this is the start of the witch hunts...they'll be coming after us with torches and pitchforks." Next we have a priest who publicly denounces super heroes in general for having caused this tragedy. That's going quite too far. Maybe they could be blamed for not having been more on the ball, but Nitro was the psycho who DID it. Next, Johnny Storm gets beaten into a coma. Riiight, because over the years, he has had sooooooo much contact with the New Warriors, right? And of course, that big bruiser of a bouncer who is RIGHT THERE does nothing. And Johnny doesn't even bother flaming on. Whatever. Next we have Reed Richards refer to Dr. Strange as a "post-human". I have never seen that term used outside of a Brubaker independent book. First JMS steals Bendis' term, now Millar steals Brubaker's? We get a cameo here by Daredevil. Which Daredevil is this? Is this implying that the current storyline in Daredevil is a tale from the past? Or is this the imposter? Now we come to my number one gripe about this book, the mistreatment of national icon Captain America at the hands of S.H.I.E.L.D. Because Cap refuses to promise to keep the superheroes in line, he's attacked, eventually with lethal force, and all because he takes issue with a bill that hasn't even been introduced to Congress yet! Last I checked, a bill doesn't become law UNTIL THE PRESIDENT SIGNS IT!!! Oh my fucking god. Next we get a scene of a protest in front of the White House. When was the last time a protest of that size was arranged in the space of a day? Whatever, I can live with that, but EVERY SIGN that the protesters carry making reference to the victims ALL SAY THE SAME NAME! Damien. If 800 kids were killed, don't you think you might have quite the variety of names there? Nope. Apparently people only care about this Damien kid. And once again, the placards refer to superheroes as "Powers". Enough already. If Bendis were writing this book I could deal with it, but please be original. To cap off this exercise in ludicrousness, JoeyDaQ comes on and starts pimping trade paperbacks and assorted collections. Many that have only tenuous relations, if any, with the current story line. Okay, fine, the art is pretty, but the story is ASS. Save your money and read the story through all the press releases.