Scipio Garling of the Absorbascon posted a list of 42 (then 43) items which need to be addressed by DC in order to completely fix the stupidities they've perpetrated over the years, not to mention conflicting origins, timeline errors, misinterpreted characters, bad writing, and awful storylines. You can find his list here.
He issued a challenge to his readers to come up with 10 (then 9) additional elements that require changing by the DC PTB's.
I've expanded the list to 58.
Here are my additions:
44. Get rid of Millennium.
45. Get rid of Zero Hour too.
46. Get rid of Argent's Teen Titans.
47. Get rid of saying that Mxyzptlk comes every 90 days. That's just stupid, and it continually throws the timeline into flux. Just let him come whenever he wants to.
48. Get rid of anything Bruce Jones has ever written. And don't let him write anything in the main DCU ever again.
49. Get rid of Superman Red/Blue and Electric Superman.
50. I like the portrayal of many of Batman's rogues gallery as individuals having a difficult time keeping their hands clean, as opposed to homicidal psychopaths. Keep Ivy (not to mention Woodrue) the champion of mother nature, no matter the costs. Keep Harley out on her own. Let the Penguin continue to operate his enterprises just the other side of shady. Let Two-Face be a district attorney who occasionally resorts to dirty tactics to get convictions. And please, please, please, let Riddler remain the celebrity detective he was born to be.
51. Evil Batgirl has got to go.
52. Likewise, Identity Crisis has got to go...while we're at it, how about forbidding Meltzer from writing anything for the DCU ever again?
53. Anything beyond the initial arc in Superman/Batman has got to go. [Edit: Oh, all right, you can keep Kara if you really want to.]
54. DC should get rid of Bart becoming the Flash. He's just not ready, and neither are we. Bart needs to be a kid. That's part of his charm.
55. The Steve Niles creeper needs immediate erasure.
56. Likewise the "New Skrull on the Block". J'onn is too rich a character to relegate to second rate stupid plots.
57. Speaking of J'onn, figure out his origin already, for God's sake! I'm going with Ostrander's. Make fire for J'onn sort of like yellow for Green Lanterns - dangerous, but only if he cannot overcome his fear of it.
58. And one more thing: undo War Games so that we can have Stephanie back. She was, like, my favorite Robin...ever!
Notes on Scipio's list and associated comments:
2. ...if Jason must be around. Otherwise, let him stay dead. Better yet, erase him altogether.
8. ...but Barbara should remain in a wheelchair, or at least a chair. She's indisposable as Oracle.
9. Emperor Joker did have its moments. It was a cute story.
39. Firestorm hasn't been as good since Dan Jolley left the new title.
43. Of course there's a Doctor Polaris, he's Grant Emerson's "uncle"!
Constantine and Swamp Thing aren't denizens of the DCU proper any more? What? Why? Does that mean that we've lost Constantine's relationship with Zatanna as well? Noooo!
Showing posts with label Deadman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Deadman. Show all posts
Monday, May 21, 2007
Friday, December 29, 2006
Deadman #5
Deadman #5
This is truly the epitome of CRAP. At least Bruce Jones bases this issue entirely in one dimension, whatever the hell that means. But what in the world does "remote viewing" have to do with anything? And does BJ even know what the phrase means? Because there certainly haven't been any obvious examples of it in the series so far. This book couldn't be any more unclear, and I've got a very strong feeling that even the artist hasn't got a clue what's going on. Because sometimes panels that come in sequence don't seem to be immediately sequential. What's that all about? This title is AWFUL, and I'm officially stopping reading it. In fact, unless I hear great things about it, I'm never going to read another Bruce Jones comic ever again.
This is truly the epitome of CRAP. At least Bruce Jones bases this issue entirely in one dimension, whatever the hell that means. But what in the world does "remote viewing" have to do with anything? And does BJ even know what the phrase means? Because there certainly haven't been any obvious examples of it in the series so far. This book couldn't be any more unclear, and I've got a very strong feeling that even the artist hasn't got a clue what's going on. Because sometimes panels that come in sequence don't seem to be immediately sequential. What's that all about? This title is AWFUL, and I'm officially stopping reading it. In fact, unless I hear great things about it, I'm never going to read another Bruce Jones comic ever again.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Daredevil #91
Daredevil #91
Happy Turkey Day.
Well, after the extreme confusion of the last two issues, we're finally back on track, and even though nothing is revealed (to us at least) in the issue, everything previous is clarified. I was really let down by the last couple of issues, here I was expecting great things, and then, nothing. Seriously, if I wanted to have no clue what was going on, I'd read Deadman (which, by the way, is utter CRAP).
So now that we know what's going on, Lily was hired to wear a pheromone perfume and confuse Daredevil. How they figured out Karen Page's scent is unknowable, but at least Daredevil is wise to them now, and his internal monologue tells us that he's wise to it. So he lets a mock kidnapping and attempted murder scene play itself out, obviously a trap, while he waits to make his move.
When he does, he dispatches Tombstone.
And then, things get weird. Matador apparently has been ordered to kill Lily, though he agonizes over attempting to do so, claiming that he loves her, but it's probably just the pheromones. So Matt puts him out of his misery. He then gets Lily's part of the story from her...the honest truth, apparently, though as he says earlier in the issue, she's such a good actor, how would he know?
That's it. Not much happens, but at least we understand what does happen. VERY GOOD.
Happy Turkey Day.
Well, after the extreme confusion of the last two issues, we're finally back on track, and even though nothing is revealed (to us at least) in the issue, everything previous is clarified. I was really let down by the last couple of issues, here I was expecting great things, and then, nothing. Seriously, if I wanted to have no clue what was going on, I'd read Deadman (which, by the way, is utter CRAP).
So now that we know what's going on, Lily was hired to wear a pheromone perfume and confuse Daredevil. How they figured out Karen Page's scent is unknowable, but at least Daredevil is wise to them now, and his internal monologue tells us that he's wise to it. So he lets a mock kidnapping and attempted murder scene play itself out, obviously a trap, while he waits to make his move.
When he does, he dispatches Tombstone.
And then, things get weird. Matador apparently has been ordered to kill Lily, though he agonizes over attempting to do so, claiming that he loves her, but it's probably just the pheromones. So Matt puts him out of his misery. He then gets Lily's part of the story from her...the honest truth, apparently, though as he says earlier in the issue, she's such a good actor, how would he know?
That's it. Not much happens, but at least we understand what does happen. VERY GOOD.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Deadman #2
Deadman #2
What the hell was that? I have no idea what the fuck I just read. It's nonlinear in the extreme, even more so than Grant Morrison's "Invisibles" (which I hated), and makes no sense! Is Brandon Cayce dead? Alive? Married? Not? Lucid? Dreaming? Hallucinating? Is Sara a Physics teacher? Psychology teacher? What the FUCK is going on?
AWFUL...just AWFUL. I really was looking forward to reading this after last month's setup issue. I figured that Bruce Jones couldn't completely suck. As usual, I gave the benefit of the doubt to the wrong person and I got burned. This book is a sheer waste of trees. Do NOT buy it. If you have bought it, see if you can return it. What a fucking waste. Not as bad as Nightwing, but very fucking close.
(At least Justice League proved that Boston Brand is still around.)
What the hell was that? I have no idea what the fuck I just read. It's nonlinear in the extreme, even more so than Grant Morrison's "Invisibles" (which I hated), and makes no sense! Is Brandon Cayce dead? Alive? Married? Not? Lucid? Dreaming? Hallucinating? Is Sara a Physics teacher? Psychology teacher? What the FUCK is going on?
AWFUL...just AWFUL. I really was looking forward to reading this after last month's setup issue. I figured that Bruce Jones couldn't completely suck. As usual, I gave the benefit of the doubt to the wrong person and I got burned. This book is a sheer waste of trees. Do NOT buy it. If you have bought it, see if you can return it. What a fucking waste. Not as bad as Nightwing, but very fucking close.
(At least Justice League proved that Boston Brand is still around.)
Monday, August 21, 2006
Deadman #1
Deadman #1
I was apprehensive when I began reading this book, and even more apprehensive at the end. Where is Boston Brand? Has he been retconned out of existence? If so, then who is it who has helped Batman and Green Arrow all those times, some in the recent past? If, however, we're just paving the way for an all-new, all-different Deadman, then I don't mind so much...as long as Boston is still around somewhere. Taken with that supposition in mind, I quite enjoyed this first issue. It gave the reader a true sense of what it might feel like to be newly dead or dying, unable or unwilling to let go of this mortal coil, and thus causing oneself endless torments. It's obvious from the final page of this issue that Brandon's Deadman abilities are very different from Boston's, different enough for me to feel comfortable holding out hope for BB's survival (heh).
The issue has very strong images, reminiscent of 9/11, and I am interested more in the "motivations" for the attack, and the British reaction, than I am in the new character himself. Cayce is interesting, though. And I intend to read upcoming issues to resolve all my questions (including whether or not Boston Brand will be involved in this series in any way, shape, or form). A very GOOD start.
I was apprehensive when I began reading this book, and even more apprehensive at the end. Where is Boston Brand? Has he been retconned out of existence? If so, then who is it who has helped Batman and Green Arrow all those times, some in the recent past? If, however, we're just paving the way for an all-new, all-different Deadman, then I don't mind so much...as long as Boston is still around somewhere. Taken with that supposition in mind, I quite enjoyed this first issue. It gave the reader a true sense of what it might feel like to be newly dead or dying, unable or unwilling to let go of this mortal coil, and thus causing oneself endless torments. It's obvious from the final page of this issue that Brandon's Deadman abilities are very different from Boston's, different enough for me to feel comfortable holding out hope for BB's survival (heh).
The issue has very strong images, reminiscent of 9/11, and I am interested more in the "motivations" for the attack, and the British reaction, than I am in the new character himself. Cayce is interesting, though. And I intend to read upcoming issues to resolve all my questions (including whether or not Boston Brand will be involved in this series in any way, shape, or form). A very GOOD start.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
